I lay in bed, tears soaking the pillow beneath my head. I sniffed and snuffled while bombarding myself with the same question. Did I do the right thing? Did I make the right choice? Am I a bad mom? Am I doing more harm than good?
Mom Guilt. Does it hang over your head, too? Do you feel guilt over your parenting decisions? This article delves into this phenomena of mom guilt and gives practical strategies for how to let go of (and overcome) the guilt.
When I got pregnant, there were many things I anticipated. From the sleepless nights, to teething, to feeding struggles, overwhelm and exhaustion. I anticipated so much but what I didn’t expect was the guilt.
Mom guilt became a huge part of my motherhood journey and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was it instinct telling me I had handled something wrong? Was it a result of watching too many television shows with strong mother characters? Or was it there because I was doing a bad job as a parent?
Mom guilt is real.
If you ask any mom if she’s felt guilt in her motherhood journey, I can bet most moms would respond with a resounding YES.
A part of me feels like if I didn’t feel any form of mom guilt, then I’ve most likely stopped caring about how I’m doing as a mom. Yet another part of me knows that the guilt is unhealthy when left to fester within me.
The reality is guilt doesn’t have to overcome your parenting journey. That’s why I’m sharing 3 practical strategies to deal with the mom guilt.
Do you struggle with mom guilt?! Banish mom guilt once and for all with these 3 practical strategies! #parentingtips #momguilt Click To Tweet1- TRUST YOUR INTUITION
It’s not just a saying… moms DO have intuition and we need to trust it! I find my guilt usually comes from looking over my shoulder and thinking someone is handling the exact same situation better than me. But here’s the thing… that’s a different mom and a different child. Not only does comparison rob us of our confidence but it also clouds our intuition as parents.
When we trust ourselves in our roles as moms, we find much freedom and less anxiety.
2- DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM TRIGGERS
I urge you not to skim over this point! There are people (and I’m not talking about our kids here) who feed that spirit of mom guilt.
Whether it’s a friend who critiques the meals you feed your child or the sister who thinks your kids misbehave because you’re a “pushover”… people who make you feel guilty are toxic.
Before distancing yourself, try explaining how their commentary on your parenting makes you feel. If they continue to critique you, then it’s time to distance yourself.
No one needs to have their doubts or fears thrown in their face by family or “friends”. Cut the ties and scale back on the amount of time you spend with these kinds of people. Your mommy heart will thank you.
3- COMPLIMENT YOURSELF
Everyone needs positive words in their lives.
As busy mamas, positive words are often hard to come by.
Make time in your day to write down three things you’re doing well in your motherhood journey. You can keep a journal just for this activity! Also when someone compliments your parenting, jot it down in this journal too!
Then, when the mom guilt overwhelms you, take out your journal and read through a few pages. You’ll be amazed at how a few positive words can dissolve any negative feelings you may be having.
PARENTING CHALLENGE
Your challenge for this month is to think about the mom guilt you feel and make a plan to eliminate it in the coming month. Whether you use these strategies or try some strategies of your own, use this month to drop the guilt from your life.
I would love to hear from you! Can you share how you let go of guilt? Then take a moment to share this article with your parenting tribes. Together we can banish mom guilt, once and for all!
This post is part of The Parenting Resolution series. The entire series is here:
Introduction: The Parenting Resolution: Make This Year the Best Year!
Challenge #1: The Parenting Resolution: Creating a Learning Plan
Challenge #2: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
Challenge #3: How to Say More Yes and Less No
Challenge #4: How to Let Your Children Know They Can Depend on You
Challenge #5: Banishing Mom Guilt Once and For All
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Overcoming mom guilt. I prayed in tears one Easter morning. I know that Jesus suffered to take away my sins, but how could I let him take away my REGRETS for days in my mommy past that I wish I could do over? Things I did so imperfectly, and now don’t have a chance to do over because my kids have grown up? After my prayer, I opened my Bible to where I had left off reading, and proceeded with the next chapter: Philippians 3. Verse 13 answered my prayer, as if Paul was speaking to me when he said, “this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 15Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 16Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.” If I think I want a do-over, think of how Paul would have wished for a do-over, from before he was converted? But he didn’t look back, only forward toward his prize. I felt like God was telling me it’s ok to let go of the guilt, and move forward, with the wisdom I have gained from those days I wish I could do over.