I’ve come back to this space, sad, hurt and confused as to what has become of my life.
Back in October, I experienced a work-related trauma. For the past few months, I had been successfully working through that trauma with a skilled psychologist.
However, I recently experienced two more work-related traumas… one which left me feeling physically unsafe and another which left me feeling emotionally vulnerable. These experiences have been far too much for me to bear. I am overwhelmed, confused and my heart aches.
I have been away from work since February 22nd. I’ve been seeking psychological and physiological help but the hurts are deep. I can’t even be on the road 25 blocks away from my work without having a panic attack. I’m hurting and I’m doing everything I can to heal myself.
I once heard that as human beings, we tend to get wrapped up in caring for the human side; the efforts of working to have food, clothing and shelter consumes so much of our time and energy that we often forget about the “being”side.
Lately I’ve been focusing my energy on supporting the being side; I never realized how much effort it really takes, especially when that side has been neglected for so long. It is a challenging journey, but I truly believe that the most important journeys in life are the ones we never planned for.
I also take comfort in knowing that even though this is my journey, I have many supporters cheering me along… my Lord God, my husband, my parents, and my close friends.
Although at times it feels like a solitary journey… I am not alone.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I have no idea how long this journey of healing will take, nor do I know the ultimate destination. What I do know is, this is one of those defining moments in life and I am certain I will never be the same as a result of it… and perhaps that’s a good thing.