Today I was going to share a recipe post with you. I had the posting crafted, the photo taken, everything was ready to go… and then life happened.
I had taken my daughters on an outing to a park. It was a park that was across town but I wanted them to enjoy this particular park before it’s flooded with children during summer break.
After a lovely morning of sliding, swinging, and running, I loaded my girls into the car and started the long trek home. The problem was, I knew how to get there but I wasn’t so sure how to get home.
I wove through side roads, streets, and freeways until I got to the familiar… downtown.
I didn’t realize until I was parallel to my old workplace that I was, indeed, downtown.
Downtown… the place where a man pulled out a gun and shot at me several times. Even though it was a cap gun, the sound of those “bullets” tore through my very existence and threatened to destroy my life.
Downtown… the place I completely avoided over a year ago. The thought of going there would send me into panic and tears.
Downtown… the skyline which kept me awake at night and when I finally crashed would send me plummeting through endless evenings of night terrors.
Downtown and the events which took place there created anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and temporary agoraphobia.
Yet here I was, driving downtown.
I have come a long way. Overcoming obstacles of great proportions. I had a team of people pushing me to recovery: my family doctor, two psychiatrists, an exercise therapist, a physiotherapist, and an exposure counselor. There were endless hours of talking, exercising my mind and body, and exposure to triggers. It was a lot of work.
I am thankful for everyone who invested their time in me. I am thankful that they pushed me and “taught” me how to embrace a new “normal” in my life. God blessed me with so many caring people.
Yet, I can boldly say that my healing, actually came at the foot of the cross. My healing came when I looked upon the Lord and knew with all my heart that He felt exactly what I was feeling. He already experienced it for me… on the cross. I didn’t have to experience it any more than I wanted to… He had already gone the distance for me.
Downtown! Here I was driving downtown!
My hands were steady, my breaths regular, and my heartbeat… even.
I looked in my rear view mirror. The skyline was getting smaller and the reflection of two little girls looking back at me became all that I could see.
Tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I have overcome. I truly have.
SHARE WITH OTHERS
I have tears in my eyes – and am so in awe of what you’ve been through. I can’t imagine having my life threatened like that, and I would have never returned downtown either. But you faced your biggest fear, and made it! You are a hero.
Thank you Kristen. I truly couldn’t have done it without God. I am so thankful for this place I am at today.
Wishing you a lovely day Kristen!
Wow…I was so inspired reading your post today. Right now I am going through something where I relate to the PTSD, and our family (children & hubby, extended) are all facing different battles. I feel so overwhelmed at times, but take comfort in the fact that our Lord suffered as well. He has become my Comforter and healer. And yes, there is always a place for professionals. I agree 100% with that as well. Keep pressing on! So happy for you :)
Rachael, I am sorry to hear what your family is encountering. I would like to pray for you, if that’s okay.
Thank you for stopping by. Praying for peace and comfort for all of your family. Blessings to you.
xoxo
Whoa!! Jennifer!! Whoa!!! I can’t imagine – so glad you are replacing that fear with faith and hope! So thankful for how the Lord is using this incident for you to grow!! Love that quote by Joyce at the end too!
God is so good. He has healed me. I give Him all the glory.
Joyce Meyer has a lot of fabulous quotes. She’s awesome!
Wishing you a lovely day Caroline.
Oh Jennifer!! I cannot even fathom what a terrifying experience you endured and had to recover from! Oh friend, I am so sorry! Thanking GOD for the healing and deliverance of this awful tragic imprint left on your heart/mind/body. Thanking GOD for claiming His POWER over the evil that tried to hold you captive. Thank GOD that you are FREE, in and through Him.
I give God all the glory Chris. He has healed me.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I feel blessed to have connected with so many sisters in Christ!
Wishing you a lovely day.
Oh my gosh, Jennifer. My eyes are watery reading this! I’m going to back and read your old post about what happened but oh my! I’m so sorry you had to endure that. AND I’m so amazed at your strength and where you are today. I’m so glad that you could drive through downtown with steady hands and see the faces of your sweet girls :) LOVE that quote! I pinned it. I need to come back and look it often! Really great post, my friend!
Thank you Kelli. It’s been a journey but I am thankful that the Lord help me up through all of it.
Wishing you a lovely day.
Hi Jennifer! Wow, what a life-changing event you endured…and you went through so much to overcome it. How inspiring that you know your true healing came from Jesus. That really impressed me, and showed me how deep your faith truly is. All the professionals in the world can move and work, but until God is involved, how can true healing happen?
I am so proud of you and your drive through downtown. I wish I was there to give you a big hug and a big celebratory coffee :)
Thank you for sharing your story today, giving me another reason to thank God for his mercies :)
Ceil
God’s mercies are so great aren’t they?! It’s truly amazing how the Lord transformed me over the past couple of years. He is amazing and worthy of our praise!
God bless you Ceil.
I just want to give you a big hug right now (so I guess a virtual hug will have to do )! So proud of you! To feel that steady and that confident being back downtown. What a long way you have come my friend.
You really have overcome. So so proud.
xoxo
Yay for big virtual hugs! What a journey it’s been! I give God all the glory!
Wishing you an awesome day my friend!
xoxo
I am so happy to hear that you remained unphased by the downtown experience! That’s a real accomplishment worthy of celebration and completely worth an unplanned blog post. YAY! :] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was AMAZING! Truly! I give God all the glory because I really couldn’t have done it without His healing.
Thanks for sharing in my excitement friend!
xoxo
WHAT A VICTORY, Jennifer! You have come so far, and what’s most beautiful is that God has carried you every step!
It really IS a victory. It’s now part of my story, my testimony, about how good God is. Truly amazing.
Thank you for sharing in my joy Robin!
So beautiful – I would weep too, with freedom.
I’m so sorry about your story – just read it. It doesn’t matter that it was a cap gun, of course. To go through that is as traumatic as any gun. Any gun.
Congratulations on your beautiful downtown experience.
I am so happy to be celebrating this freedom and victory with my blogging friends today. It’s been quite a journey of healing.
Oh Jennifer, how scary! I had no idea. That must have been so scary to have those flashbacks. Thinking of you and sending hugs.
Thank you Michelle. I am happy that I am free from the mental torment. I am healed and I am so thankful.
Jenn! I see that you made the transfer to wordpress congratulations. I had been away for a couple of days. I had to take an emergency trip to the states to take care of my dad ( He had car accident).
I wish you the best! You are a strong woman and a lovely mom too :)
Is your dad better? Sending my love and prayers for a speedy recovery.
Thanks for stopping by Remy. Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
My heart just exploded through my eyes when you said all you could focus on was your two little girls. That is everything. They are going to be so proud of your strength and courage, and so grateful to have such an incredible woman as their mom. You are amazing. Big hugs xx
Thank you so much Meg. It’s been a long journey. I’m so thankful to be healed.
xoxo
I couldn’t take it anymore Jen. I had to have my husband bring my laptop to the hospital. I was gone since June 3 and have been hospitalized since the 13th. I kept reading all your comments on my phone since I’ve been in here and I couldn’t do it any longer. I just had to have my computer so I could visit and really comment back. I know how stressful situations like that can be. I had a really horrible experience 2 years ago and it took months of therapy for me to start feeling myself. Blogging actually was my outlet and way to cope. Just like you I put my faith in God, started going back to church regularly and it really made a big difference in my life. I’m here in sunny CO, in the hospital sending you some virtual hugs. You’ve come a long way with God at your side.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through Amanda. Praying you get healing my friend.
I appreciate your kind words and reassurance. God is good. I am so thankful for this freedom and victory.
xoxo
WOW Jennifer…I had no idea you experienced something like that. You continue to amaze me with your perspectives and attitude on life. I’m so happy for you that you were able to remain calm and overcome, that’s a huge accomplishment!! <>
I really couldn’t have gotten to this point without God’s healing. I was a mess… I’m so happy to be victorious and free of this trauma.
Thanks for the love and support Jessica.
So glad some healing has taken place, almost while you weren’t aware. God is good. Blessings, Mare
God is wonderful with how he heals us so delicately and gently.