People blame television, video games, feminism, religion, lack of religion, social media, and technology. With a resounding voice society asks: What is happening to our children?
Yes, society has changed, but I think the real issue is that we’ve lost sight of what our children need.
Here are my thoughts on what today’s children really need.
What do you think today's children really need? #parenting Share on XChildren need meaningful connections with family
Parents have so many demands. Work, stress, and bills place a lot of pressure on the family unit. However, children need to spend quality, connected time with their families. Board games, picnics, walks, talks, cuddles, and romps at the park… these are what make for strong bonds and build precious memories.
Children need time to play
We see the occasional quote about the value of play. We hear studies about how play helps children learn, grow, and develop; yet play is often compromised for activities such as organized sports, music lessons, tutoring, and homework.
We need to provide opportunities for our children to build, to dress up, to imagine, to dream, and explore.
Children need exercise
Children need to move. They need to run, skip, hop, and tumble. Children need opportunities to use their bodies and exert energy.
Children need to feel they are part of the community
Children are a part of our society from the moment they are born. Yet for some reason, many people don’t treat them as such until they’re in their mid to late teens. Kids need to feel like they are an important part of their community.
Walks in the neighbourhood, participation in community events, lemonade stands, and saying hello to the neighbours on the street helps children build connections in their community.
Children need opportunities to contribute in a meaningful way to society
How can we possibly expect children to care about anything but themselves if we don’t give them opportunities to contribute to various causes? Within their own neighbourhoods children can assist with community projects, litter pick-up, shovel neighbours’ sidewalks, and tend community gardens.
Children need time to talk and time to listen
Deep, meaningful conversation is so important for our children. They have a voice, they have thoughts, and they have opinions. We, as adults, need to give them opportunities to exercise their voice. We need to listen to what children say. We need to let them know that their voice is important and valued. We also need to educate them about the power of their voice and how to use it responsibly.
We also need to teach our children how to listen, comprehend, and decipher the information they receive. Many messages are shared with our children on a daily basis. We need to ensure they have the ability to filter through what they hear and assist them in discerning what is of value.
Children need to know God
I am a Christian. My heart and soul longs for God. While many may argue that children don’t need to know God, I disagree. I don’t believe we have just a body and a mind; I also believe that we have a soul which thirsts to know our heavenly Father.
Our children need spiritual purpose. When I talk about spirituality, I’m not talking religion. I’m not talking about dragging them to church just because that’s what they’re supposed to do. What I’m talking about is loving a relationship with God. Our children need to seek, rest, live, and love with a purpose greater than this world and greater than themselves. Our children need eternal purpose.
Children need guidance and direction
Our kids need to know limits and boundaries. They need to understand that there are layers of rules that extend beyond their homes. They need to know, recognize and understand that rules are critical to the functioning of their schools, communities, and the world. Our children need guidance and direction so that they understand these rules and why these rules exist.
Children need balance
Busyness and rest, activity and peace… kids need to learn how to find balance in their lives. We need to help children strike a balance, which can be challenging for the busy parent to do. How can we help our children strike a balance when we, ourselves are imbalanced?
Children need love
I know it seems obvious but our children need love. If we demonstrate our affection, tell them with our words and our actions, our children will feel loved. It is from that love that they will continue to blossom into the people they are becoming.
Children are becoming
Children are individuals. They are growing. They are becoming. What they become rests in our hands.
Sometimes I come across an article that stirs my mind and resonates within me. This post was inspired by a deeply reflective post by Janine over at Confessions of a Mommyholic. Thank you Janine for inspiring me to share my thoughts on what our children need.
My absolute pleasure and I do love your suggestions and going to back link your article on my article today, too, because I truly as you know, couldn’t agree with you more. Hugs to you and happy Monday xoxo ;)
I’m so glad you enjoyed this Janine… and thanks for sparking the inspiration!
I would be honoured to have you link back to this post.
Thanks Jennifer, Children also really need to be part of the community not just products of the community.
Kissess and loads of Blessings
Amen sister! They are part of our community and need to be seen and treated as such.
I completely agree with so many of these! It is so true that a lot of these basic needs are falling by the wayside these days. Thank you for posting this as a reminder!
I’m glad you enjoyed this Echo… I’m delighted it resonated with you.
This post made me cry, in a good way! But because we do forget so often that children are people too and need all of the same things that we do. I do it to my own children, which is probably why this post touched me so much. I love the way you think so much further beyond just the surface, you truly are deliberate. Always inspiring me and making me want to do better for my kids with things I hadn’t thought of, thank you Jennifer xo
I’m delighted that this resonated with you Jessica. I’m constantly questioning society and my “view” of the child. Things change and shift but I think these a necessary foundations on which we can help our children learn, grow, and “become”.
Oh Jennifer, this post is so touching. It really got me thinking of A and how she lives her life right now. Is she getting enough exercise? Are we treating her like a person? All the things you mentioned. You are such an inspiration with your wise words my dear.
xoxo
I’m glad you enjoyed this Tiffany.
Often these posts are born out of my own parenting reflections too (which happen sometimes several times a day). Treating them like a “person” is so important to me. When I raise my voice I will often catch myself because I wouldn’t just up and yell at anyone… why do that with my children? They are people too!
This is another beautiful post, Jennifer!
These are such thoughtful and necessary needs that we must strive to provide for our children. I couldn’t agree more.
Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you and yours.
This is such a heartfelt piece. I love it and want to print it out and put on the wall. Sometimes I feel like many of us try and make things happen (scheduling the playdates, the lessons, etc.) rather than just letting them organically occur. Though play, exploration, non-agenda filled family time…we often stumble upon our own goodness in life. Thanks for reminding me and many others of this.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this.
Yes, so many wonderful things happen organically and sometimes our “view” of the child is skewed. They have so much to offer to society… we have to allow them opportunities to contribute.
What a great list! It is sad that too many children don’t get these things.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this Misty.
Yes, it is unfortunate when children miss out on these things.
I love every part of this! All so true and what really matters!
I’m delighted that this resonated with you Keri.
Hi Jennifer, great post…All of the above shows why parenting is such an important and often undervalued job (for want of a better word).
Constantly entertaining and pushing children into organized activities does impact on their ability to play. When children are left to their own devices (when bored) will often become creative and come up with interesting ways to play and entertain themselves.
A healthy balance of everything is key to giving a child everything they need AND making them feel valued and loved.
We go quite light on the organized activities. Kids learn so much from exploring things on their own… making up games and pretending. It’s a crime to take that away from them.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Debbie.
I love this! I see a lot of kids missing out on precious time with their parents. I see parents taking their kids to the park and spending the whole time on their phones. So sad.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this April. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thanks for writing this. I sometimes feel like my kids are the only ones not in a ton of organized activities. However, when we are too busy going from one place to the next, there isn’t any downtime or time to connect.
My children aren’t in very many organized activities either. We do girl guides once a week and a physical sport once a week. Even at times that feels like a lot but then again, since we homeschool, we’re connecting frequently throughout the day every day.
Fabulous post Jennifer. I’m so with you on what they become rest in our hands. Its our job not to help mould our kids by giving them all these experiences. I’m trying with mine and it can be a struggle at times but we aren’t perfect so we’re just taking it one step at a time.
And that’s so important that you’re trying and taking things one day at a time.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Amanda.
Sometimes I get sad when a blur of a day is over.. and I wonder… did they get all that? Were we close all day? Did we exercise and bond? Did they read? Did they eat well? Were they happy?
The only one my kids don’t know, at least yet, is a relationship with God. I’m not sure they even know that people believe in God. It’s never been a conversation. They’re so young and we’re a mixed religion family. I’ve been pacing myself in how to approach it but I do think it’s important to talk about.
And I do want them to believe, the way I was raised.
I have days like that too Tamara… I think we all do. The day blows past and you wonder, what did they “get” from that day?!
Thanks so much for sharing such a thoughtful and reflective comment. I love hearing your perspective on things.
I hope you’re having a lovely weekend!
I’m teary-eyed right now because it breaks my heart that there are children in the world who aren’t getting these things.
My husband and I were just talking about a few of these same things, and our plan for our daughter’s development in those areas. It’s funny, but I never thought of other parents consciously doing this, but I’m glad to see we’re in good company!
It’s sad that some children don’t get these things.
I love hearing that you and your hubby have been discussing similar topics. We are very reflective parents… I love hearing about others’ parenting journey too.
Great post! I know I definitely struggle with listening. My life is so busy as a single mom that I find myself saying “Please, only if it’s important.” In hindsight, I feel terrible about it, because it doesn’t have to be important…or rather, it is important because my daughter is wanting to talk and connect. It shouldn’t matter if it’s a vital issue or something silly. Especially when they’re coming into their own, children really need to be heard. I should be the one who is doing the listening for them more than anyone else!
I hear you and completely understand Krisztina. Don’t be too hard on yourself and listen when you can. We’re only human… and as long as our children have our complete attention at times, it’s okay!
Thank you so much for sharing such a reflective comment.
Unconditional love! Not on what they can accomplish or on their performance, but just because God made them who they are with or without a special talent, a perfect body, a smart mind. Just because HE created them! Enjoyed reading this. Always touches my soul to read about children.
I’m glad you enjoyed this Michelle.
Yes, unconditional love is huge and a MUST for our children.
What a great and thorough list! I couldn’t agree with you more. This is one of my favorites: “Children need opportunities to contribute in a meaningful way to society.” I did this somewhat with my kids but definitely could have done a better job when they were younger. It’s something I work harder on now and it really makes a difference in their lives when they serve others. Thank you for these incredibly important reminders, Jennifer!
I’m delighted you enjoyed this list and these reminders Candace.
It’s so important for our children to get opportunities to learn and grow in serving others.
These are so simple, yet we often overlook them on a daily basis. If only we all could just stick to that list…
Thank you for being a brilliant and lovely hostess!
I’m delighted that you enjoyed this list Christina.
I agree about children needing loving a relationship with God! Not religion but a relationship. My oldest asked me the other day what her purpose was! They amaze me with what is written on their hearts. I am so happy to that they need play on your list as well :) I do need to be more intentional about getting them involved in our community…
Hope you have a beautiful day, friend!
Relationship is sooooo different than religion. I find myself emphasizing that a lot lately!
Play is a biggie around here.
Thank you for sharing such thoughtful reflections on this post Sharon.
Isn’t it amazing what children need is mostly the basic stuff. Their needs can be fulfilled without much hassle.
It’s so true… these are so basic but so important.
All good points that you’ve raised! I know I need to work on the exercise and the daily walks in the community.
There’s always something to work on… isn’t there Amanda?! I’m glad you enjoyed this my friend.
Love.
We have a great calling to nurture and care for these souls God has entrusted to us. We are the influencers. It’s too easy to forget that relationships take purposeful time. It’s too easy to let activities and busyness over take what is truly important.
Yes! I love how you refer to it as a “great calling”. Indeed, it is!!
I’m delighted you enjoyed this Donna, and I appreciate your thoughtful reflections as well.
Such a profound post! I love your point about children needing to contribute something to society. I never thought about it that way–that for kids to care about something/someone other than themselves, they need to be able to see that they’re a part of something bigger. That’s a very eye-opening statement, and something I will keep in mind as I raise my daughter. Thank you for sharing!
I’m glad you enjoyed this Maria. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful reflections on my points as well.
Such a powerful list. I think one of the best thing a parent can do that is often forgotten about is: let children feel like they are a part of a community. Too often kids have no ownership in their environment. They do not understand the important role they play. Letting kids know they have a place and a voice in society is an amazing way to raise a compassionate child who values integrity.
Loved this.
I’m delighted that you enjoyed this. You’re right, including children as members of society is often overlooked.
beautiful post! you are dead on about that time to talk and time to listen – if we don’t respect what our children have to say and listen to them as well, how would they ever learn how to do that respectfully for others?
I’m glad you enjoyed this Katy. Yes, our children need to be heard… and they need to know that we really are listening to them.
This is a great reminder that what is most important to a child’s well-being has very little to do with what we call ‘school’.
Exactly!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this Susan.
I agree 100% with your list! I love sitting outside with my kids while they play for hours outside with the neighbors.. my hubby and I even take turns since they never tire of being out there!!
Neighbourhood and community connections are so important.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Lauren.
Love this! I agree on all of them though I can’t practice it yet. This will help me be a better mother someday! :)
Thanks Kelli! I’m glad you enjoyed these tips/suggestions on what today’s children really need.
Wow how did I miss this great post?
I am firmly in the camp of less is more and love makes the world go round. You know all those things that seem to end up in songs.
I’m glad you enjoyed this Jen.
Yes, less IS more and love DOES make the world go round
Great list! I would agree with all of these. I think, sometimes, we are so focused on giving kids all “stuff” they need that we forget some of these simple basics.
I’m delighted you enjoyed this Lis! These simple basis mean so much – and like you said, they’re often forgotten.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lisa – I hope you have a lovely weekend!