I am not a good swimmer. In fact, for most of my life, I’ve been terrified of deep water.
My sister-in-law asked me if I wanted to take adult swim lessons with her. Since my four-year-old daughter has already surpassed my swimming abilities simply by learning the back float, I thought it probably would be a good idea to get more skills and comfort in the water.
We eagerly went to our first class early so that I could get my entrance card. With time to spare, we decided to ask for a tour of the club’s exclusive change rooms. The tour guide was great and she gave us a complimentary full access pass for the evening.
Thrilled, we decided to get the most “bang for our buck” and made a plan to sit in the women’s private hot tub and check out the steam room.
We muddled, bobbed, floated and glided through our forty-five minute swim class and practically raced to the “exclusive” change rooms afterwards. We had the hot tub to ourselves. We talked, we laughed, we discussed our class and then IT happened….
A woman approached the hot tub. At first I thought, “That woman isn’t wearing a bathing suit top!” Then I realized that her “interesting swim bottoms” weren’t swim bottoms at all!!! I was looking (with disbelief) at her pubes… and they were getting into the hot tub with ME!
I tried to look at my sister-in-law and continue our conversation but I couldn’t look her in the eye for fear that I would burst out into hysterical, uncontrollable, nervous laughter.
So I sat there, reading the sign about hot tub etiquette, which was posted on the wall above my sister-in-law’s head….
Shower before entering the hot tub; turn off the jets when you leave the hot tub; check with your physician before using the hot tub… but there was no “rule” about swim suit attire (or lack thereof). Not that I would say, “Hey lady, didn’t you read the rules? All pubic hairs must be confined within a swim suit!” Yeah, I’m not that kind of person… but I would have felt better knowing that my shock and disbelief was also justified by the club’s rules.
Within a couple minutes we gave each other the all-knowing nod and went to the steam room. What. The. Heck?
The steam room was too hot, so we decided to get ready to leave. I gathered my belongings and was about to go to the private change area when the naked lady strolled into the lounge and proceeded to stand in my way whilst making herself a cup of tea… NAKED)!
I acted like I was busy rummaging through my bag until she returned to the hot tub area.
So needless to say, the opportunity to enjoy our exclusive club pass was ruined by a lady who decided to sit in the hot tub, naked.
“ADULT” swim classes have taken on a whole new meaning….
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