Today, I’m so pleased to introduce you to my dear friend Robin from Robin Kramer Writes. Robin and I share so much in common that we often joke that we are cross-border twins even though we’re born years apart (myself being the older of the two of us). Robin is a wonderfully talented, loving, and gracious spirit. Her heart for God shows in much of what she shares and I truly appreciate her friendship, wisdom, and insight.
Written in true head-nodding, soul-uplifting, it-can-only-be-Robin-Kramer-style, I hope you enjoy this skillfully and beautifully post from one of my dearest blogging friends.
My nine-year-old daughter wears mismatched socks by choice. Each morning she reaches into her sock drawer, finds two in whatever colors and patterns she fancies at the moment, and puts them on her feet.
She’s done this for two years. Clearly, she’s uncaged, a free-thinker in the narrow world of traditionally acceptable foot fashion.
Incidentally, each time I’ve folded the laundry these past two years, without even thinking I’ve still sorted her socks, found the separated mates, and joined them in harmonious reunion with one swift inverted tuck. (You know, so those matched socks would be easy to pull apart the next time she’s searching for two different ones to wear.)
One day this summer my daughter and I folded laundry side by side. She watched me sift through the clothes, sorting and pairing out of dutiful habit, and said, “You know that my socks don’t need to be matched like that, Mom.”
Such an obvious sentence, given her daily practice. But in my world — a world in which I thrive on structure and predictability, a world in which I like to straighten things (whether books on a shelf, a problem at work, or a relationship gone askew) — socks are matched when they come out of the dryer.
To leave socks unfolded would be to leave something incomplete, to let something that should be done undone.
But just like that, my nine-year-old gave me permission to drop the ball, to skip a step, to save a minute, to let something remain imperfect rather than making it just so.
I picked up the remaining loose socks, handed them to her with her other laundry, and yielded. “Here you go, then.”
How freeing, that relinquishing of sock-matching, once I was called out, once I accepted that I could. Life continues when socks are not matched!
And how challenging to apply this lesson to other areas of life. It’s easy to thrive on control, to crave order and peace in all those unwieldy situations and scenarios. It seems haphazard and unwise (negligent, even) to let go of a messy situation, place it entirely in someone else’s hands, and yield.
Yet this is what God calls us to do. He asks us to let go, to release our close-fisted grip of control over our lives and problems, and to trust that He is good and His hands are capable to reach into our assorted piles of stuff and bring clarity into the disarray.
Without our micromanaging. Without our intervention. Without our bouts of worry.
Truly, this was the best epiphany I’ve ever had about socks.
Since I’ve resigned from sock-folding, I’ve reclaimed minutes of life that otherwise would have been spent tarrying over laundry. (Multiply this over years and imagine what I could accomplish. I could read more novels. Learn a new language. Watch extra episodes of Chopped or Property Brothers. Endless possibilities!)
I’ve also lost something. That need to fold those socks — that niggling voice that admonishes “Just reach in and pair them, Robin; just pull things together like you should” — has lessened. This is good. The temptation to put my hands back on the very thing I just let go of is real, as anyone who’s ever laid a burden down before God and then lifted it back up to shoulder again will admit.
Multiply this relinquishing of our fears, worries, and problems over years. Imagine what we could accomplish, free and unburdened.
Even better yet, imagine how much God could accomplish in us — that special kind of sorting in our souls when He rights things that are wrong by pairing those loose pieces, or the unexplainable peace that He grants to us even when our visible circumstances seem to be a heaping, disorienting mess.
I’m grateful I have a daughter whose quirks rub against mine. We work like sandpaper: irritating and then ultimately smoothing each other’s rough edges.
As for God? I’ll let Him fold my disorganized socks. Or leave them unfolded. His preference, really.
Robin Kramer is a wife, mother of three, teacher of college public speaking and writing, author, and speaker. She blogs regularly about finding humor and faith in the ordinary moments of motherhood and life at:
Robin Kramer Writes www.robinkramerwrites.com
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Ah… LOVE this Robin!! I haven’t been over here in a bit, so I wanted to check in and THERE you WERE!! Great choice Jennifer! Robin is one of my faves too!
This post screams ME! My daughter is the same with her socks… and I am the same with clinging to structure, order, control. It’s amazing isn’t it? How gripping our fear can be with that tightly wound way of living?
And it’s also amazes how liberating it is to slowly, cautiously learn to let go. And trust that with every finger peeled off- God places His Mighty Hand on. Sometimes I am FORCED to fall to my knees and desperately rely on Him.
I believe that is where He really wants us all the time. Yes?
Dependence on Him. NOT ourselves.
Yeah that. ;)
Chris, I love that imagery: “With every finger peeled off, God places His Might Hand on.”
That’s an exchange I am willing to make!
This is lovely Robin and Jennifer!
What a simple lesson with such an important message. ” Yet this is what God calls us to do. He asks us to let go, to release our close-fisted grip of control over our lives and problems, and to trust that He is good and His hands are capable to reach into our assorted piles of stuff and bring clarity into the disarray.”
I needed this message today. Thank you!
Thank you, Jen! Glad that these words hit the right spot.
Love this! I would be 100% with Robin in the continual folding. It’s a hard habit to break. But what a good lesson to learn from her daughter. :)
I’m glad that I’m not the only with with OCD-related quirks. ;)
I love meeting your bloggy friends! I don’t know if I’m losing my mind or what, but I could’ve sworn I read this post before! I’m a non-sock matcher and get a lot of flack from my very coordinated and put together husband, and remember rooting for the daughter! LOL
Oooh… it’s like a mind-meld where somehow you heard my thoughts before I wrote them! I’m not sure how that transpired, but I understand why you want to root for the kids.
(Trust me, my kids root for a lack of coordination. Daily.) ;)
What a beautifully written reminder for us to read today. Well done ladies!
Love it! So freeing, Robin! Now to try to get my family to wear mismatched socks :)
Just yesterday my Bible study group was talking about how hard it is to let go of the control and just put all our trust in God. We talked about different times when we have had no other choice but to give up the control and how peaceful and freeing it was. I love this analogy of matching the socks. I would have done the same, but for what? Sometimes, we just have to let it go.
I keep hearing this message of “letting go” repeated to me, too! (I just need to absorb it, which is primarily why I wrote this post.) :)
Robin and Jen,
What a fabulous post. I couldn’t agree more– socks do NOT have to match, and in fact I’m not sure if my boys’ socks ever do! In fact I confess that sometimes they manage to leave the house in mismatched socks AND shoes, and still we do just fine.
I’ll do you one better– I don’t even fold clothes anymore! I just toss them in the correct drawer or hang up the ones that might wrinkle. Talk about liberating!
And you’re right. Life is like that too. We don’t have to obsess about the thing we obsess about. Thanks for the reminder!
Brittany
Brittany, have you just given us permission to never fold clothes again? (Ever see that scene in Braveheart where William Wallace yells, “FREEDOM!” That was my gut reaction when I read your comment.)
Awesomeness.
Loved this!! I too feel that need to control things in my environment and have things “perfect”. Having two little boys has forced me to give up on some things but I’ve learned the same, freeing lesson. Not everything has to be perfect and how the world assigns it.
I love this. My daughter mismatches her socks too. And I do the same – fold them together properly. But you’re right, it’s ok. They don’t have to match.
I love when our children make the most sense, with just the smallest reaction to a situation we would make much bigger. Sometimes, children can just display that matter of fact non-worry I SO would love.
Great post!
I love your daughter’s style, I have a 12 yo who too, will mix match her socks :)
XOXO
LOL! My daughter does the same and has rubbed off on me. Now I actually wear my socks unmatched. Very frugal really. When you lose one, it doesn’t matter. :-)
Ah sock pairings! I sometimes measure the chaos in my life by how big my “Land of Lost Socks” is – that being the pile (or bag) of socks whose pair has gone missing. If I could encourage my kids to do this then it wouldn’t matter!
It does, however matter to my husband. Every now and then I accidentally mis-match his and he complains. Apparently different shades of black aren’t close enough…. I think I’ll just tell him God has told me to let go. I’ll let you know if that works!
Great post!
“I’m grateful I have a daughter whose quirks rub against mine.” I had a nearly IDENTICAL realization this morning. My daughter makes me look at the unpleasant parts of myself with laughter and a smile urging me to change. My perfectionism cannot survive in the chaos that our lives have become. Truly, “Life continues when socks are not matched!”
I loved your blog post and am thankful to know I am not the only parent still hunting down the missing sock and folding them up just so both of my daughters’ can wear mismatched socks. It has been going on for six years in my house. Thank you for the giggle this morning.
Robin, I love that you found such a valuable lesson is a simply task. I didn’t realize that I was so controlling until I did a Bible study called Let.It.Go. by Karen Ehman. It is so freeing to realize that God is in control, He has a plan, and things go so much better when we let Him be in charge. I loved this post (and not only because I sometimes like my socks mismatched, too!) Blessings.
Heather, I’ve read that book too. It’s fabulous. I still struggle with control but not nearly as much as I used to.
Thanks for sharing,
Jennifer
Heather, I just read that book this summer. Such a fitting reminder, wasn’t it? Thanks so much for your comment!
Great lesson for your daughters! If more people would parenting these way things would be easier for our children in the future! Thanks for sharing #shinebloghop17