Play dates or play dating? Parenting is tough but I never expected to get overwhelmed by the idea of play dates! Here’s my first experience with arranging a play date.
Play Dates or Play Dating?
It happened. A child from my daughter’s
I have some friends who have children but I’ve never connected with someone because our children connected. Never, until now.
It begins.
After handing my phone number over to this mom, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.
I had butterflies! Me! From giving my phone number.
Then I waited. One day. Two days.
Then I started to wonder.
Maybe she doesn’t really want to connect with us.
What if she doesn’t like me.
Maybe she really doesn’t want my daughter to be friends with her daughter.
Then I began to fret.
Maybe I should have taken her number as well!
She might still call.
Why isn’t she calling?
Then she called.
Oh my goodness! I can’t believe she called.
Yay! She does want to get together!
I guess I was worrying for nothing.
Then I began to fret (again).
What should we wear?
EEK! What if my 3-year-old destroys her house?
What if my daughter and her daughter get in a fight?
I calmed myself but then I began to fret some more.
What if everything goes well? How long do I wait before I arrange another play date?
Should I bring something since she’s hosting? If so, what do I bring?
Why do I constantly feel like I have butterflies in my stomach?
Am I crazy, or does this whole play date thing feel like dating?
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has ever felt like this.
Play dates or play dating... perhaps this is a parent's rite of passage. #parenting Share on X
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We don’t have any kiddos around our area so we never experienced play dates or play dating. I think my thoughts though would probably follow the same pattern as yours!
I can’t believe the similarity between the two experiences. It’s funny really.
We have yet to go through this, but I think that when we do I will share some of your same anxieties. Hope it all went well! :)
Our “date” happens next week. I think the long wait has added to my anxiety too. I know it will probably be fine but oh my… the similarities between dating and this are crazy! I thought I was done with dating!
We did this a LOT when I lived in NY so I’ve gotten accustomed to it but I’ve never really done it with a “stranger” before. It was usually my neighbor who had a son who was born a day earlier than my son. I can certainly see how it can seem like a date and if it happened to me now with Madison I’ll probably be freaking out like you since I have yet to bond with anyone here. Guess what you’ll be ok. ((hugs))
Thanks friend! I hope it goes well. There’s a first time for everything… right?!
It’s funny… Just because you give your number doesn’t mean the other person won’t accidentally lose it. I lose people’s phone numbers all the time! The other day I looked for a phone number for an hour before I finally found it!
Well now I know to exchange numbers instead of just giving mine. It’s a learning curve.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Susan.
I think the whole play date thing is absolutely one of the most exciting and nerve-wracking situations in parenting. I almost feel like this is more agonizing than dating because you don’t want to disappoint your child and not have it work out the way you hope. If a date doesn’t work out for yourself, you feel like, well, I’m going to have to get over it, and you may already know how to do so, but with your child, it’s just so heartbreaking when it doesn’t work out. You just don’t want to see that dejected look in their eyes! But when it works out, you’re just so happy for your child to have a new friend!
I think the actual play date should go well. Our girls chose each other and are absolutely crazy about one another. I just don’t know how I will do… lol.
Thanks for sharing your experience with this.
I dread play dates. Mainly because I don’t like other people’s kids. I also don’t like waiting on other people’s kids, LOL. I do it enough for my own.
LOL!!!! Sorry to butt in, but that’s awesome!! haa!
I just snorted from laughter. You are too funny Echo. I love your honesty… lol.
Lol! Well your dating story sounds better than my first random lets get together encounter. We made plans, she cancelled, made plans again and I had to cancel, and sine we’ve never spoken (aka texted) again. Sniff. Good for you mixing it up haha! Have you gotten together? How did it go?
Our actual “date” is scheduled for next week… so the story is still being written, so to speak. Hopefully I’ve over-thought this one and everything goes well.
Been there! Done that!! I even got that sick knot in my stomach, too. But….Just do it! Go with it!! You may realize you can’t stand her (the mom) … OR… you may find out that you just met the most amazing friend! Maybe she can be your new Bible study friend. Remember? ;) Take a chance. Spread those butterfly wings and fly! ha!!
I know… gotta move where I’m directed to move. Perhaps this is an answer to prayer. We never know how God works – often we look back and the path looks clear but looking forward it can be quite confusing.
Thanks for sharing your perspective friend!
I could have written this blog post. Word for word.
Hasn’t happened in 4 years (who, 4 years!) but I remember it like yesterday. Since my BFF is moving provinces, it will likely happen again soon. Shudders.
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
Glad to hear I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Comfort in numbers – hurray!
Thanks for sharing.
I had to laugh at this! Something similar happened to us recently because of a girl in my daughter’s class. I didn’t know the mom very well. She never called to actually set up the play date though, much to my relief. It was a bit nervous about it.
Whew, glad to know I’m not the only one walking around with a ball of nerves!
Thanks for sharing your experience with this.
Totally not the only one and recently became friendly with one of the moms of the young kids that go on the bus with Emma on our block and was a bit worried and yet hopeful that we could become friends, too. Thankfully it seems like we have and the kids are all getting along, too. So, totally get it and made me smile reading your thoughts on this today :)
So glad I’m not the only one! LOL the anxiety! I thought I was done with dating nerves.
Thanks for sharing your experience with this Janine!
ha! So funny…I don’t get that way anymore though….who has time for play dates?
Well it’s some relief to know that at one time you got like this… lol.
Thanks for sharing!
It’s a new beginning for your daughter and for you. Hopefully you and the other Mom will hit it off and a brand new friendship begins for all of you, exciting!!
It is kind of exciting… I just wish I weren’t so darn nervous about the whole thing!
Oh goodness, I could imagine this would be stressful! I hope your daughter and YOU have an amazing time connecting with new friends! :-)
As nerve-wracking as it is… I am thankful for this opportunity (and I pray it goes smoothly).
Haha! I have felt this way before, but with so many neighborhood kids and other kids running in and out of my house I guess the nerves have quelled a bit.
I always find it is harder when the play dates happen and I have to stay and chat with parents. Now that makes me nervous! Kind of an underachiever parent here so when people start talking whole grains and bento boxes and yoga for their kids I have to admit I sent the kids with Twinkies for lunch, now that’s a conversation killer for sure!
Our play date is at this mom’s home and yes, I’ll be “visiting”. Maybe that’s what is contributing to the anxiety?! Laughing about the Twinkies. Now I do yoga with the girls but the whole bento lunchbox thing makes me crazy. Who has the time to do that? I notorious for offering a couple choices for lunch… canned soup or tuna sandwiches? LOL
While I do enjoy playdates for social interaction with my girlfriends, usually A ends up losing it bc she doesn’t want to share or something. So usually we have wine. :)
I thought of bringing wine but I don’t know if the mom drinks. Next time maybe… that would be a great icebreaker wouldn’t it (me showing up with a box of Franzia chillable red *wink*)!
HA! I dread having playdates for my kids, too. I don’t know why. Once their friends are here, they usually entertain each other and I end up wondering why I don’t do it more often! :-)
Hopefully it will go smoothly. It gets a bit easier every time right?!
I would be the same way!! I have yet to experience this. I became friends with the moms in the homeschool group as my kids became friends with their kids. We have been on outings together, but no play dates. Unless you count being invited over to see baby chickens? The kids checked out the chicks and then played. But I was a little nervous about that as well. It’s so funny how we psych ourselves out over nothing! I’m sure the kids will have a great time :)
I’m so anxious about this… it’s crazy! I’m certain the kids will be fine. I’m just hoping us moms can find stuff to chat about… although we’re both homeschooling mamas, so at least I know we have that much in common!
Oh, your writing made me so nervous I started picking at my nails!!!
It’s so strange, but you’re spot on – it’s like dating except it’s terrifying. It can also be so much fun, though, so I’m glad you agreed to a play date.
It IS totally terrifying! Thanks for the encouragement Sarah! I hope it goes well.
Lol I haven’t had a play date run in like this yet…but when I do, I see it going down the same way. After day two..lol I would think maybe I accidentally gave her the wrong number.
I’m surprised at how anxious I am about this. It really does feel like dating all over again!
I actually get a little anxiety about it too! As babies, it was more about liking the parents. The babies.. just acted like babies.
Now that the kids are older enough to choose their friends, well, it does feel like dating a bit. I’ve been lucky so far in that I get close with the parents too.
I know it won’t always be that way, though.
Oh I am relieved that I’m not the only one who gets anxious about these things!
Thanks for sharing your experience with this Tamara!
ha ha ha. It sounds just like dating! :)
It so crazy how similar they are and I thought I was done with dating!
Those days do often create friendships for us too. Some of my closest friends now were parents on my kids’ sports teams when they were little. And my youngest son still has a good friend from preschool, 10 years later…I’m still friends with the mom.
It would be wonderful if an friendship between us moms evolved out of this! I just have to stop being so darn nervous!
It is exactly like dating! Feeling for you, we’ve been going through similar things this past year after our move. And I’ve had many of the same thoughts! xx
It’s so stressful – lol. Weird how similar the feelings are.
Thanks for sharing your perspective Cassidy.
Hahahahaha, yes play dates are TOTALLY like dating. Although I haven’t experienced a play date that was chosen by my kids. We’re not there yet but I can just imagine this being me one day when my sons find a friend and I have to hang out with a new mom who may or may not click with me! Did the play date happen yet? If so, I hope it went well (or goes well!). Let us know!
We haven’t been on the play dare yet. It’s this Friday. Eeeeep! I hope it goes well. I’ll keep you updated.
eeek! Going through this right now. I joined a Mommy group and though I’ve been to 10 events and NO ONE has shown up but me.. Starting to get the ‘uh oh, did I do something wrong’ feeling… But since I’ve never met any of them, it can’t be that.. Right? Right?? You will be fine. I think we all feel this way when we start something new. It’s the unknown. But that is also where we grow. Be well
You’re right, the unknown can be so overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your experience with this as well.
This post cracked me up, Jennifer, because I have done exactly the same thing. It’s funny how much time we spend worrying about things that end up working out just fine, isn’t it? I wish we were neighbors so we could have a grown-up play date. :)
LOL – I find some reassurance in knowing I’m not the only one who has felt this way.
A grown up play date would be nice Heather _ i think we would be great real-life friends!
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
Oh, I’ve had such similar worries! I’ve only lived in Kansas City three years, so all of my mommy friends and playdates are with new people! Some have been singular events, but most have led to fun new friendships.
You’re amazing and have absolutely nothing to worry about. Have fun and play! You don’t even have to shave :)
Ha! You’re right! I don’t have to shave and I don’t even have to look that “put together”. Thanks Farrah!
Just today at church The Girl and a friend of hers (who claimed they were BEST friends and almost refused to let go of each other when it was time to leave) asked me and her mom to please, please, please arrange a play date. I initiated the conversation and left the ball in her court…yes it feels like “dating”…waiting for the phone to ring, or, well, play my phone call song anyway.
It’s crazy how similar these feelings are to dating!
Thanks for sharing your experience with this Amanda!
I almost missed this post!! I’m glad I didn’t… thankfully, in the past I’ve known the parents of the kids my children played with, because they lived near. However, I do know that feeling, especially because of the different parties I’ve helped with at the kids’ previous school.
XO
Oh the anxiety… our play date is this Friday. I hope it goes well! Thanks for sharing your experience with this.
We just relocated and my daughter started at a new school. So it’s sorta like dating after a divorce. We broke up with the moms and kids we knew so well to start over with new ones. She’s old enough to go on playdates alone but because I don’t know any of the parents, I have to tag along for the first one. By the time we get through all of the “first date” questions–what do you do, where did you move from, etc–it’s almost time to go. And after you do it a few times, you find your groove. Lol!
Hi!! I need an update, how did it go? And why the post or comments aren’t dated? Haha I don’t know how long ago this happened 🤣 but I still want the update please!
It was good — a little awkward at first but got better as the time passed.