To the Mom Who Thinks She’s Not Enough


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I don’t know where you’re reading this. Perhaps you’re sitting at your laptop, stealing a few minutes for yourself. Or maybe someone forwarded this to you at work. Or you’re huddled on the toilet holding your smart phone, with the bathroom door locked, and you’re fighting back tears because this has been one of those awful days that you wish you could forget.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, this message is for you and it starts like this… you are enough.

Think about those words for a minute.

You are enough.

Like tasting a fine wine, sip those three words and swish them into the recesses of your mind.

You are enough….

I remember the first time I discovered I was pregnant. I looked in disbelief at the pregnancy test. The joy that I felt was immediately overcome by concerns.

I had a few glasses of wine this month, I ate sushi, and took medication… I’m already a bad mom. I’m not enough.

While in labor I remember rocking back and forth, slow dancing with my husband, and looking up at him with tears in my eyes. Fear set in.

How can I possibly care for another human being when I can barely do this birthing thing? What have I gotten myself into? I’m not enough. 

Night after night, every three hours I nursed my newborn back to sleep. As I held that beautiful baby in my arms I fretted.

I’m exhausted, I’m worn, I just want to sleep. I’m selfish to be thinking about myself and the sleep I’m losing out on. I’m such a bad mom. I’m not enough. 

A tumble down the stairs, a fall in the yard, a bump on the head, and a trip to the emergency room… frightening moments in a young toddler’s life. As I wipe my child’s tears, I worry.

 I can’t keep up. I’m not fast enough, I’m not skilled enough, and I’m not observant enough. I’m not enough.

Homework, tests, making and losing friends, all the stresses of raising a school-aged child. As I think about this stage of life I fill with anxiety.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t understand this homework. I can’t protect her from hurtful friends. Are her grades good enough? I’m not enough.

Going to work, staying at home, working at home… these life decisions overwhelm me.

What if I make the wrong decision?  What if my work-life affects my relationship with my child? What if I’m not a good stay-at-home mom? I’m not enough.

I’m not enough.

These words rob us of our joy and destroy our confidence in our ability to mother.

You need to know something though… you are enough!

Whether you adopted, had a cesarean, had an intervention-free birth, took an epidural, birthed in a hospital, or laboured at home… you are enough.

Whether you nursed or bottle-fed, whether your child slept in your bed or in their own crib… you are enough.

Whether your child had a scratch, a bruise, stitches, a bump, or a broken bone… you are enough.

Whether your child had decent or amazing grades, one friend or many friends… you are enough.

Whether you’re a working mom or a stay-at-home-mom… you are enough.

I know this because there is a little someone who loves you and who looks at you with adoration. I know you’re enough because there is someone who delights in being loved by you.

You’re a mom. The fact that you think that you’re not enough indicates just how amazing you are. However, whether your children are weeks, years, or decades old, they need you to love yourself just as much as you love them. They need you to realize that you are enough.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing… this message is for you.

Yes beautiful mother… you are enough.

 

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Jennifer Bly
Jennifer Bly
Author of My Kitchen, My Classroom: An Introduction to Homeschool, creator of The Deliberate Mom, Deliberate Homeschooling and regular contributor to The Huffington Post. Jennifer writes about parenting, her faith, and life with her husband and two girls. Jennifer has a Bachelor of Applied Human Service Administration Degree with a specialization in Early Learning in Child Care. 

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