The click of the front door.
My husband has left for work and my day has begun.
I hear the dog settle onto the landing. I nestle into my pillow and enjoy the last few moments of warmth beneath my quilt.
I contemplate the day.
Two little people in particular.
The questions that overwhelm many other mothers infiltrate my thoughts….
What am I doing? How am I doing? Can I do better? I have to do better. Is there enough love? Is there enough attention? What can I do to let them know that they are important and loved?
I get teary when I think like this. There’s no room for perfectionism when parenting. This is one of the hardest parenting lessons I’m still learning. There will be mistakes, there always will be mistakes. I am reflective, sometimes to a fault… so my “mistakes” can be a burden. Like the other day when my daughter asked me (in her whiniest voice possible) why she had to put her clothes in the hamper. My response… “because I said so”.
What is wrong with me?! Why did I say that?! The words came out of my mouth faster than I could process what I was saying. Naturally, I immediately backpedaled and explained that when the clothes are in the hamper, then I know they need to be washed. However, my guilt hung like an anvil around my neck. The echo of four sharp words made my heart heavy and my spirit burdened.
What is wrong with me?
Tormented by this reflection, I get up.
I read my Bible, I take a shower, and I dress.
Then I come downstairs and see this….
My daughter decided to set the table and make breakfast for her family.
My heart leaps. My soul sings. Everything will be alright because in this moment, I feel the greatest pride and joy. My thinking shifts. In the quiet of the morning, I long to be more… but in the motion of the day, I am enough. Yes, I am doing a good job.
This was my memorable moment of the week.
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OhSweet! what a lovely moment indeed. have a wonderful rest of the day!
xo, mama lola
Beautiful thoughts and words, Jennifer. And simply having a mother’s heart is so much more important than being perfect in all our words and actions (at least, that’s what I tell myself). :)
Oh I love this. How the sweetest things they do can completely change your thought process for the day. Completely change your mood. You are enough Jennifer. Don’t forget that. Those little girls are truly loved.
xoxo
That was beautiful xo.
Sounds to me like you are a wonderful mom. Not perfect but definitely wonderful!
So very sweet :) I’m not a mom myself, so I can only imagine all the doubts and worries that come along with it.
I’m so glad that you preserved this moment — and that you shared it with us.
Beautifully said! Have a wonderful weekend. :)
A precious moment indeed. Enjoy. :)
Just as I thought you were getting too far into your own mind, you pulled out with a fresh perspective. Beautiful Jen! I love how your brain works.
Oh how I love this. Sometimes we overthink too much as parents and we try to rationalize everything. Sometimes if we step back and start thinking like little kids (well not too much like them) we realize that everything doesn’t have to be fire and brimstone. Don’t you just love the way kids think and react without malice. You’re doing a great job as a parent and it shows.
:) reflection is good. self condemnation not so. YES you are enough! It is enough! Great post!
I think ALL good Moms think like this!!! The bad Moms don’t even give it a thought! Big hugs and I’m cheering you on!
#MagicoftheMundane … you KNOW this touched my heart… beautifully written, and such a great reminder…
Awww so cute that she made breakkie. I love the new look btw.
I also love the way you wrote this post.
xo
Z
Beautiful. All of it. The warm bed, the forgiving, imperfections, the breakfast.
We’re going through a touch time right now with The Kids schooling. Hoping we’re making the right decision. Bottom line, we’re just trying our best as are you.
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
So sweet. And yes, at the end of the day it turns out we are enough to get them through to the next morning – maybe even with more knowledge and more understanding hearts (us and them).
I’m glad you enjoyed this Amanda. So often I feel I’m not enough… but I have been growing in the process of motherhood.
Thanks for reading and for sharing such a thoughtful comment– it made my day!
I can see why this is one of your favorite posts of 2014, Jennifer, as it is a beautiful and touching tribute to motherhood (and parenthood). Thank you for the encouragement that even though we do make mistakes and fall short, we are enough for our children. Love this!
Thanks Heather. This was such a precious post for me. I still get misty-eyed as when I read it.
We indeed, are enough.
Blessings to you my friend.
Blessings to you and yours, my friend. Happy New Year!