Our home. Peaceful, quiet, playful and full of gentle laughter. Then the bubble burst. Our home of three has changed to a home of four and it seems that with the blink of an eye, our family life has been turned upside down.
Here’s a recent scenario:
I was in the prison master bedroom, tending to my newborn babe. She frequently goes through 2-3 hour spells wherein she’s inconsolable. Anything I do won’t stop her from having an epic fit (at least once or twice a day). Usually she has one of these fits at about two in the morning.
She cries. I feed her.
She cries. I change her diaper.
She cries. I burp her.
She cries. I rock her.
She cries. I sing to her.
She cries. I play music for her.
She cries. I try to feed her again. At this point in time she either beats my breast with her fists or she clamps down with her toothless, but bony, mouth on my nipple.
She cries. I cry.
While I was dealing with this epic fit I hear my husband telling my 3 1/2 year old that climbing on the shelf is not a safe choice.
Daughter: It IS a safe choice!
Husband: I’m worried you’re going to get hurt.
Daughter: I’m NOT going to get hurt!
Husband: You might get hurt.
Daughter: I’m NOT, I’m NOT, I’m NOT going to get hurt!
Husband: I would be sad if you got hurt. I think you would be sad too.
Daughter: I’m NOT going to be sad!
Husband: If you don’t find a safer place to play, I’ll find one for you.
Daughter: I’m NOT going to find a safer place to play!
Husband: Okay, it looks like I have to find a safer place for you.
Cue the intense screaming, foot and hand banging epic half-hour tantrum from my daughter (who by the way, maybe had two tantrums in her entire life until we brought the baby home… now she has at least two a day).
Within minutes my husband was upstairs. He looked frazzled. I’m sure my look was the mirror image of his (except with mascara streaked cheeks).
I looked at him and said, “What have we done? We’ve upset the balance of our little family.”
He looked at me and said, “It’s them against us baby, it’s them against us.”
In summation, we are adjusting to our new family composition.
We understand our 3 1/2 year old is trying to figure out how she fits into this new family unit. All of us are trying to figure out our roles and find our place in this family of four.
It will take time, lots and love and understanding but I know we will get there… one day.
Any tips, advice or words of encouragement? Please share. This mom needs it!
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Oh, Jennifer! This is so hard. But, you’re right – you guys will get there! It will pass. Eventually. You just gotta hang in there! Haha. Easier said than done, I know, but you can do it! Go team family of four!
As for sweet little newbie, have you guys tried wearing her in a sling or wrap? If not, it may help. You may not be feeling up to it depending on how you’re healing, but Evan could wear her if you can’t. Wearing her upright (as opposed to her laying down most of the time) could help if she has some reflux happening.
Thanks Natalie. I have started wearing Hope. I think it’s helping with some of her crabbiness! I’m sure some day everything will settle down and we’ll be looking back on these baby days and missing them.
That’s what I keep telling myself. Oh, teething…
:)