I expected many things from this parenting gig but I did not expect my mom life to parallel the party days of my youth. From sunrise to sunset I host a party that would make most college kids jealous. Are you ready for this? Let’s party!
Mom life or party life? You decide. #parenting #humor Click To Tweet
The day starts with Jump Around. I wish I was talking about the House of Pain song but unfortunately I’m talking about being jolted awake by the kids jumping up and down on my bed. Something tells me this is going to be quite the bash.
I stumble into the kitchen to get the kids their breakfast. They start barking their drink orders at me while I frantically scour every cupboard for clean cups. Disposable it is….
Within minutes of receiving their heaping bowls of cereal and their juice, the 7-year-old starts crying. She’s spilled her juice. In true party fashion, the 3-year-old is lapping it up off of the table like a dog.
Just as I throw back my second cup of coffee there’s a chorus of laughter. I enter the living room only to witness the 3-year-old standing topless on the end table. I guess a party’s not a party until someone is dancing half-naked on a table.
I set up a show for the kids so I can get cleaned up. Just as I’m about to place a foot into the shower I hear a fight break out. I run downstairs, naked of course, and break up the brawl.
Flashing and fights… this party is epic!
I manage to shower and feel ready to take on the day.
I sit at the kitchen table to color with the girls.
I’m feeling pretty smug at this point. Mom of the year… taking on the day with a stack of paper and markers. The phone rings and I answer it. It’s my husband. I make sure to tell him that we’re having a fabulous day; I managed to have a shower and we’re coloring together!
I hang up the phone and realize that I spoke to soon… the party is getting wild again. My 3-year-old has colored on the table, the walls, herself, and her sister. I guess that’s another tell-tale sign of a good party… someone ends up with a marker moustache.
Then there’s the line ups for the bathroom. Does everyone at this party have to take a dump at the same time? Oh and let’s not forget the pee on the bathroom floor and the toilet paper that gets stuck to the bottom of your foot.
As the party goes on, everyone thinks they’re funny. The jokes are endless and half of them make no sense.
3-year-old: “Knock, knock?”
Me: “Who’s there?”
3-year-old: “Poop.”
Me: “Poop who.”
3-year-old: “I pooped on your head! Get it?!”
No… no I do not get it.
The party wears on. There’s more nudity, brawls, jokes, singing, and dancing.
Once the party-goers are tucked into bed for the night I look around at my trashed house, pour myself a glass of wine, and sit down to watch some TV.
Tomorrow there will be another party. Same time. Same place. Same guests.
I can’t wait.
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LOL “no, no I do not get it.” 3 year old jokes are the best hahaha. Love this post, when you put this way, I’m definitely partying way harder than any of my single, childless friends LOL. Hey I even have two guys fight over me every day, not only am I partying but I’m finally popular too!
Ahhh, how I wish we could get together. We would laugh at the crazy antics of our children for sure.
Party hard girlfriend! lol
I just experienced this same thing the past three days with my two grandchildren and here it is Sunday afternoon and I am spent! This is why women my age (50 something) do not have children. I feel your pain, even though I lived it years ago, but was much younger and had much more stamina. My Eli was up at 6:00 am this morning looking for his red rubber firetruck, okay, like I was playing with it all night while you slept? Love them tremendously but work these two are! Keep up the good attitude, you are an inspiration!
Thanks Michelle! I try to have as much fun as I can… because the alternative isn’t, well… fun!
You pretty much summed up my day in a nutshell and nothing quite prepared for the crazy partying ways of two little girls here either back in the day! Thank you though for sharing and letting me know it isn’t just me. Have a wonderful week ahead now, too xoxo ;)
Could you imagine if all four of our girls were together?! Party central!!!
Oh my goodness, I just spat water all. over. my. computer screen! I have to go back up and read the rest, but “In true party fashion, the 3 year old is lapping it up off the table like a dog” is exactly my life right now!
Oh wow, this was hilarious and much needed today!
Glad to make you spew water?! lol
Seriously though… are you encountering the table/floor licking too. It’s absolutely disgusting.
Thanks for sharing your insights on mom/party life as well.
I laughed so much with your post today! Party life always :D
I’m glad this gave you a good laugh Lily!
Enjoy every moment of their childhood! That’s an everyday party! :-) Dropping by from Mommy monday blog hop!
It is a party everyday… that’s for sure!
Thanks for stopping by Annabel.
LOL yup, I’m a party animal too. And I agree, college students would be a jealous! Your kids sure know how to throw ’em!
Yes! College kids should be jealous! There are some pretty wild parties happening here.
There are days when i just do not want to party anymore, complete exhaustion sinks in. Back in the day, party all night , oh but then I could sleep all day. lol
I hear you. Partying hard can be exhausting!
Wow, sounds like your house is party central. Who says moms don’t know how to have fun?
Yes, we know how to party the hardest!
hahah yes! Can’t wait for these days :)
Non-stop parties Caroline… it makes for good laughs.
Wishing you a lovely week my friend!
Oh that’s my house you just described and practically any house with a 3 year old especially. I’ve given up now even trying to clean everyday and just let it be. While I would love to be able to not have a party everyday and just relax, guess it’s not going to happen. :) Here’s to a party filled week!
Yes, the 3-year-old adds quite a bit to the “party atmosphere”.
I’m hoping for a low-key party week… jazz, wine, and some tapas.
haha! I don’t get the poop joke either but I think Des over here does.
I have to sometimes laugh and compare parenting two little kids to my college days. Someone puking and missing the toilet? Check with the upper hand going to college for that one. That happened weekly there instead of once or twice a bad winter season like here.
Puking!!! I totally forgot to include the puking. Yes, that definitely contributes to the party atmosphere.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is so beyond true! I love it! I can see the parallels!
Glad you enjoyed this Echo… and that you can identify with the party life!
Awww maybe thats why I love being a mom so much, I was always down for a good party! ;)
Yes, the parties are epic, aren’t they?!
This post is hilarious and so true. My favorite is: “Flashing and fights… this party is epic!” The good thing with our parties now is that often times the guest fall fast asleep before midnight. Even in the height of my college days, I still got tired at 1a.m. and couldn’t party all night long. Hmmm…..I just realized I probably spoke to soon. I don’t have a teenager.
You’re right about the guests going to bed before night. That’s the one benefit to this party life because I can’t pull the all-nighters like I used to.
Jennifer – thank you for the laughs on this late Monday night. With a toddler and an infant, I can’t wait for the REAL parties to begin. I guess I have a couple more years to prepare, because right now, one of the party people can’t even stand up yet. :-)
You’ll be partying soon Maria… that’s for certain! Although are you still doing the all-nighters with the infant? That can be “party-like”.
I don’t get the poop joke either, but my children would! We are near to banning the 7 year old from telling jokes, they are terrible I tell you!!
Your house sounds like quite the party zone! I can send a few more party goers and a few house pets your way to help keep it going and then there would be some serious roof raising!! On second thought, you might want to keep your roof so we will nix that one for now :)
My house is THE party zone Jen! Yeah, I don’t need to raise the roof any more than my two can raise it… lol.
Lol! Hahahahahahaha! “No I do not get it.” Oh 3 year olds. Girl you’re having some crazy parties at your house! We just have a lot of “I don’t have anything to wear! ” and tears. Typical party prep and my boyfriend dumped me kind of drama.
My kids say they don’t have anything to wear either… but that’s because I’m a little slow when it comes to doing the laundry.
Hahaha! NICE. And I loved the toddler joke. hehehe!
If you had to listen to her jokes all day you probably wouldn’t like it as much. Poop is the punch line all- the-time. lol
You crack me up Jennifer!! The party never stops around here either. SO much nudity!! Why must they always be nude!? We live n Canada! Brrr.
I know!! Kids just love to be naked lol. Pretty soon you’ll have another party participant too! Woohoo!
Loved this post! The only throwback to party life I’m experiencing right now with a 3 week old is a serious lack of sleep. Actually, it feels more like exam season!! I hope I pass.
So if I cross-publish this post somewhere else, I have to make SURE to add the bit about not sleeping because that’s a HUGE party of “party-life”. Just you wait mama – the party is just getting started. You’ll have lots of stories to tell.
I love this!! I am gonna add it to my link love for next week :) And don’t feel alone, my oldest has told me the poop on your head joke as well. Sigh. She is the life of the party as in she LIVES to make people laugh. Not loves, LIVES. Her existence depends on it ;)
I’m glad you enjoyed this Katie (and that I’m not the only one who deals with poop jokes all day long).
I would be so flattered if you included it in your link love post next week. I love those posts – I always find great reads in there.
Now I wasn’t a partier in my younger years, but if you had to draw another parallel, it would probably be about how much we can’t recall after it’s said and done. I think for parents, it’s self-protective: we choose to block out some memories (like markers on the face) just to preserve our own sanity. ;)
Oooh, good one. I never thought of that but that’s totally party-behaviour… the short memory of what happened. You’re right, it’s definitely a self-preservation thing!
No one else would be able to manage a parallelism between a wild party and motherhood better than you, Jennifer! This is awesome and sums up our lives as mothers oh so perfectly! Thank you for sharing!
I’m glad you enjoyed this Maria. I had a blast writing it… party on my friend!
Hee hee! Hilarious :D I have some guests who would totally crash your party! Blessings on your day, Jennifer!
Could you imagine the party our kids would have if they got together?! Wow!
Glad you enjoyed this my friend.
Love the party parallel to parenthood! That’s why I’m so tired at the end of the day…I’ve been partying! My 4-yr old girl also tells solely poop and pee-punchlined jokes. She thinks they are hilarious but does not get the jokes that I tell her.
Oh the potty humor is BIG with the little kids isn’t it?! LOL
Enjoy the party my friend.
This is wonderful, Jennifer! I laughed and related all the way through. It’s been a while since my kids were that little but I remember those days well. Thanks for the smiles today :). Party on…
Yes… it’s quite the party over here. Every. Single. Day.
I’m delighted I could make you smile today.
It’s funny because it’s true!!!! You just described my day!!! OMG, the jumping, the brawling, the coloring on everything, the jokes, the trashed house….it’s like I was reading a story about us! This was great. Thanks so much for sharing :-)
Oooh, a fellow party-goer! I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one with a party house like this!
Bahahaha! This is a hilarious post, Jennifer! I love it! The 3 year old joke and your response cracked me up! :)
I’m glad you enjoyed this Kelli. Yes, my kids have quite the potty humour. Every joke is about poop (or pooping on someone’s head).
It certainly is a non-stop party most days. What is it about that making up jokes phase? Even the non-potty humor ones make NO SENSE WHATSOEVER.
I know! Their jokes make no sense whatsoever! Crazy kids.
Glad you’re partying it up too!
Haha! I just love this!!
Love the tiny spy hole insight into your life and the recognition that I am NOT alone :-)
Woohoo! It’s always nice to know we’re not alone… especially when it comes to partying hard!
Oh, but your party guest look adorable and seem like a lot of fun. Party on!
Yeah, they are pretty darn cute!
(0: So cleverly written Jennifer! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! Just shows you it is all about perspective. My mom life has been a bit frustrating lately with my three year old, but I guess I need to sit back and enjoy the party!
I’m so glad you enjoyed this. Yes… just view it all as a wild party and the frustrations will soon turn to laughter.
Thanks for stopping by!
This is perfect! And you just reminded me of how much I DO NOT miss the “knock knock” phase!