Do you take lots of pictures of your children? Have you ever considered that there may be a problem with taking pictures of your children?
Have you ever considered that taking pictures of your children might not be a good thing? #parenting Click To Tweet
The grassy trail was perfectly groomed. Trees towered on each side of it and off in the horizon, you could see the path open up into a clearing. The sun peeked through the tress and a bit of a breeze made the leaves rustle. She raced through the woods with incredible energy, the large hat on her head flopping up and down with every step. She would occasionally look back over her shoulder to check if we were there but still kept pace, racing against herself, and broadening the distance between us.
I sighed. My little girl is growing up and this is the vision I have of her running ahead… making her way.
Such a vivid image. Not because of the picture I took to capture it, but because I drank up its beauty and savored the moment before snapping it. I lived it fully and completely.
A few nights ago my girls were washing their toy dishes. I had set up this activity for them, fully knowing that it would engage both of them. They love being helpful and washing dishes with dish cloths and a sink full of bubbles is the most delightful activity ever.
I stood behind my girls, snapping photos of their hands, the bubbles, and the dishes.
“Mommy, do you want to dry the dishes?” my oldest daughter asked.
“Not right now,” I responded, “I’m taking some pictures.”
STOP. THE. BUS.
Since when did I become so concerned with the documenting of the experience rather than being engaged with it? This realization hurt.
First guilt. Then sorrow. Then repentance.
My daughter turned around and smiled a big toothy grin (that is, after all, what you do when someone is taking a picture of you).
I put down the camera.
“Aren’t you going to take my picture?” she asked.
“I changed my mind, I think I will dry the dishes,” I replied.
I picked up the tea towel and dried the dishes.
As I did so, I took the rest of the pictures with my mind. I watched how my youngest daughter manipulated the dish in her hands and laughed when my oldest daughter tried to smell the bubbles and got soap on her nose.
I enjoyed the moment and savored the memories.
Please don’t take this as a judgement… but sometimes I wonder if taking photos impacts the possibilities of the experience. The connections that can be made. The feelings, the nuances, the beauty of being in the moment, engaged fully and completely with my children.
I want to run through the woods. I want to watch the clouds. I want to swing on the swings. I want to catch the bubbles. I want to squish the play dough. I want to roll down the hills. I want to build the castles and break them down again. I want to be fully and completely engaged. The camera will help me remember the moments but it can’t help me live them.
So for now, I put the camera down. I’m on a mission to take less pictures and make more memories.
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Great post and great reminder. I like to do all those things too, except play-doh. I just can’t do it. It’s stinky. :)
Thanks for commenting. You think playdough is stinky? Maybe you need to make kool-aid playdough… it’s so yummy smelling.
We all love photos, as they help us remember the memories, but you’re right – you don’t need photos for everything, every time. It’s special to take part in the memories by engaging. I’m glad you realized this and then decided to share with us. =0) Have fun making memories! Always.
~Kim
I think that’s what I was starting to do… many photos all the time. This was an eye-opener for me indeed.
This post cuts deep! Thank you for sharing your heart!
That’s me… I love to share my heart. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Your visits here are cherished.
Thank you for writing this! I feel the same way…I take lots of pictures but I also force myself to put the camera down so I can really play with my boy. These people that post tons of pics on Facebook make me wonder… how present are they?
I love pictures of my girls, but it bothered me when I realized that the pictures, rather than the moments, were becoming a priority. Thanks for stopping by!
Yes! I have had some Stop. The. Bus. moments myself, which is one of the reasons that I slowed down with blogging this summer to regroup and focus on simply “living,” not on document every single moment that was lived.
Thank you for sharing this!
Robin, I wish we were neighbours, I swear we would be the best of friends and discover we are truly kindred spirits. Those stop the bus moments are so pinnacle in this journey of parenting. It hurts when we realize them but it gives us the clarity we need to proceed. I frequently say that parenting is the hardest and greatest education but it really is rewarding.
Thank you, I sincerely love and cherish your visits.
Stop…I like that. I have found myself behind the camera and the experiences are not the same as watching. That is a lovely pathway and a beautiful photo.
Taking the pictures can really distract from the experience. It’s hard to get out from behind the camera – but I’m seeing the importance of interaction over documentation. Thank you so much for stopping by.
Thanks for sharing! I find myself often times forgetting to really be in the moment. Thanks for the reminder to really slow down and remember and cherish these moments.
You’re welcome! I think we all need reminders from time to time.
This is very true! Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down the camera and just enjoy the moment.
It’s so different to experience rather than document. I still want to take photos but from now on I’ll be much more mindful with how I go about taking pictures. Some moments may not be documented… and that’s okay because they will be in my heart and mind.
Thanks for stopping by! I love it when you pop into my “neck of the woods” :)
This was a beautiful post because it is written so well. I feel like I’m in the forest with you running in a mystical realm of natural beauty. I can understand the conflict between memorializing moments and being in the moment and like so many things, it is a fine line. I really, really, REALLY love your blog updates.
It really is a fine line. I really want to be in the moment with my girls. If I do want to take a photo, I’m going to try to enjoy the moment before taking a picture.
Thanks for visiting, commenting, and reading… I’m so glad you enjoy my posts.
I know what you mean. Thanks for this amazing post.
You’re so very welcome Z! Thank you for visiting.
This is a great post! It is a reminder that all of us need about all sorts of technology. My husband needs constant reminders about this. He loves photography and is happiest behind the camera. Sometimes when we do something special, he can seem more concerned about “documenting” it than experiencing it.
Such an important realization for me. Thank you for stopping by and sharing.
Such a great way of thinking Jennifer! I haven’t been the best at taking pictures or video lately so I’m trying to capture those moments in my memory.
I hope you have a great weekend!
~Tiffany
Thanks Tiffany! It will take a bit of time to retrain my brain… but I’m sure it will become so natural that I’ll be forgetting to take pictures!
This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, too. I get so caught up in capturing the moment on film that I forget to really be engaged in the moment, to really BE with my children or husband.
Thanks for sharing this.
I’m so glad you stopped by and shared this… to know it resounded with you helps reassure me that this parenting gig isn’t a solo affair. We all have our challenges and remarkably share similar challenges with parents from every corner of the earth. Thanks for commenting.
Beautiful. Would you believe I *hardly* took any pictures today? Quite the accomplishment, since I am the paparazzi and all. :)
You’re right…we don’t always need to take pictures of every little event. The other thing that I am trying to be better at it is making sure I am in the picture once in a while…there are whole chunks of my kids’ lives where there are no pictures of me. It’s as if I was absent. Visiting from the Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Blog Party! Following you on Facebook and Twitter now as well!
love, Love, LOVE this. I feel the same exact way. This is why I always used to use stock photos on my blog – I would be SO engulfed in all these moments that I would never take pictures. Like, ever. But then a realization hit me, because of my best friend, who always takes tons of pictures, even of herself… she did that because her mother passed when she was very young and she ONLY had photos to remind her. Because of that, she wanted to make sure her daughter, and future grandchildren, would have more than a handful of captured memories to look back on.
See, not only would I never take photos, I would refuse to be in them. Like, ever. And my bestie yelled at me for that! There is literally a 10 year gap where there are NO pictures of me anywhere. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I made a commitment to not only start taking photos of my family growing up, but of myself too… for my children, my future grandchildren, and their children, and even for me.
For me, it’s finding a balance. I either take pictures of everything all day long, or not at all for weeks and months on end. o.o