Wiping noses, wiping bums, wiping out on a toy… this is my gig.
I’ve been out of the workforce for a few years now. Before becoming a stay-at-home-mom, I was the director of two different child care programs. Being in management, means that I’ve encountered numerous challenging situations that required skill, patience, and tact.
Even with all those years of experience, nothing could have prepared me to be a CEO of my home.
If my kids worked they would NEVER get away with this! #parenting #funny Click To TweetIf my kids worked, they would NEVER get away with this!
So here are the things that my kids do which would be completely unacceptable in the workplace.
Walking around naked.
My youngest daughter can not keep her clothes on. Nudity and the workplace usually don’t go well together.
Summoning people to look at their poo.
Envision yourself buried in paperwork. An intense deadline is looming over your head. Suddenly, your co-worker runs up to your desk and exclaims excitedly, “Come see this!” – only to lead you to the restroom where there’s an enormous poop longer than their arm in the bottom of the toilet?!
This kind of behaviour would not be tolerated.
Telling everyone they meet every detail about you.
FOIP is out the window when it comes to my kids.
We could be standing in line at the grocery store, and my children will introduce themselves, then me. Afterwards, they disclose our family address, my age, my employment status, and also make sure to tell anyone that will listen about the time that I farted in the car, and it smelled so bad they couldn’t breathe.
Ahhh, kids….
Hitting or pulling hair.
Imagine calling an employee into your office and telling them that they need to fix a report. Before you finish indicating what needs to be done, you receive a swift smack across the face.
Physical abuse would not cut it in the workforce kid!
Stealing.
In our house we have a routine… right before bedtime, we frisk my youngest daughter and check under her pillow for things that don’t belong to her.
I kid you not; this child stashes EVERYTHING under her pillow! We’ve found my earrings, money, my wedding band, stamps, her sister’s hair barrettes, marbles, a muffin, buttons, keys, cookies, crackers, and a drinking straw.
I shake with fear every time I look under her pillow because I can never guess what I’ll find next!
Shake your bum-bum, shake your bum-bum.
Do I need to explain this any further?! Every day I see one of my kids wiggling their butts and singing some version of this.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
Covering their ears when you talk to them.
Envision an important team meeting. As you begin to disclose some critical details, your colleague covers their ears and sticks out their tongue. I expect their employment would be cut pretty short with that kind of behaviour.
Walking around with their hands in their pants.
Could you imagine walking into the break room with both hands down the back or front of your pants! Within two seconds, you would be escorted out of the building by security!
So what are YOUR “coworkers” like?
I love this post! If only we could live as a child, life would be so much simpler! :)
I’m delighted you enjoyed this Lowanda! I hope it gave you some chuckles!
Sounds so much like my house that I couldn’t help feeling right at home reading! But still my kids couldn’t get away with any of the above either if they worked, but somehow manage to get away with it all pretty much daily here, as well. Thanks for the giggle and smiles this morning on this and wishing you a wonderful least of the week now xoxo ;)
I had a feeling a few parents would be able to identify with what it’s like to be around my “coworkers”! lol
OK I had to bust out laughing because most of these are so Madison. She however doesn’t like to be naked but she loves calling me to show off her accomplishment in the bathroom and there’s always a constant fight between her and the boys. My coworkers were all military medics and were pretty calm but yes they would never get away with any of the things mentioned here.
LOL – glad to give you a chuckle my friend! It sounds like your Madison would be right at home in our house!
Hi Jennifer! Love all the wiping you do, including ‘wiping out’ on toys. Very clever!
My son always had his hands down his pants. I just despaired of it, I couldn’t get him to stop. Ugh. Of course, now he’s over thirty, that habit far behind him!
My daughter would steal candy and shove it in a stuffed animal, or her pillowcase. The child weighed about three pounds her whole life, so I know she wasn’t eating it much. I guess it just felt good to take it? What a mess in those stuffed animals though!
Blessings,
Ceil
Yes there’s lots of wiping going on over here!
So there’s hope for my kiddos yet?! LOL The hands down the pants is ridiculous and kind of drives me batty because they’ll do it ANY-WHERE!
haha! I heard somewhere that running a family is like running a business. And if that’s true, my kids have been fired many times over.
Des is still really proud of his poop. Scarlet is less so but she’s six and still tells me when she goes to the bathroom. She goes out of her way to do so. It’s so funny to me. Can you imagine if I worked in an office and told my boss every time I was using the bathroom?
Hilarious! I know right?! Imagine announcing loudly – “I have to poop now!” lol
Ha! I could picture all of these in MY home and so many more…
Yeah. They would be fired in an instant! Too funny.
I knew I wouldn’t be alone in the “coworkers” actions!
Glad to have given you a laugh my friend!
I am not sure I should be typing comments right now, because I’m still laughing and have tears in my eyes.
Never. Never in a million years would I have thought poop would have become such a central part of my life.
Ha – delighted to make you laugh-cry. Yes… poop is a central theme to my life too. lol
It would be fun if we did all this at work :D :P
Well, ummm, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with adults doing 3/4 of these things! lol
Thanks for stopping by Marina!
This is hilarious. I do vividly remember my crazy boss at first job post-college. My friend had a private health issue and called in sick, though told our boss what was wrong. Then our boss put a post-it note on her office door that said, “M.V. will not be in the office today. She is having a flair up.” And then…she drew a picture of it. I mean, this woman worked in corporate American for over 25 years and she drew a picture of a flair up. Sometimes adults do act like little kids. Yikes.
OMG – that’s hilarious!! LOL
Thanks for sharing that Caryn – it gave me a giggle!
So funny! I know right- covering their ears. Throwing their food…sigh. Little tyrants! Really good post, I pinned and stumbled!
Throwing their food!!! Oh my goodness, how could I leave that one out! lol
I was dying reading this! Oh my gosh it’s all so true! But could you imagine how much fun the workplace would be if some of these antics happened?! HAHA!
It would be one crazy workforce… although I wouldn’t be comfortable with my coworkers walking around naked (I barely tolerate that at gyms and swimming pools)!
Oh my goodness, SO funny! This is the life of a mom! Thanks for the laugh!
I’m delighted to have given you a laugh! Thanks for reading my friend!
Very funny! I couldn’t wait to touch the finish line!
Thumbs up friend. My own daughter does some funny dances and singing too!
Thank you for this hilarious post.
Blessings to you
I laughed so hard while reading this that I had a momentary lapse in judgment and thought it would be fun to share this with my children. Thankfully I did not as the thought hit me “They don’t need any encouragement in these behaviors!” Haha! Thanks for making me smile this morning.
Nudity, violence and walking out on the job would be the reasons my kids got fired! Also, instead of “shake your bum-bum” my kids created a chant “booty booty bun bun” which recently morphed into “booty booty bun house” which definitely describes how often my middle child (only boy) is bare naked.
Oh, this made me chuckle! In our house I would have to add impromptu concerts and dance shows… :)
Oh my gosh this is hilarious!
If we did some of these things as adults we would not only be unemployable, but would also be facing possible jail time!
To be young and not have a care about what other people think! The list made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing #shinebloghop
Hi Jennifer, you’ve got to love them! My daughter had an aversion to clothes when she was small, something I enjoy reminding her of, so your time will come. Although covering their ears and sticking their tongues out would probably result in instant dismissal, it could work in their favour and show they’re not easily intimidated and result in promotion.
At least you know where to look when things mysteriously disappear.
xx
This is too funny!!! I would have to say my co-workers could never get away with the amount of fighting they do (ahem all day every day) I don’t think shouting “She started it!!” is tolerated much.
My coworkers fight ALL the time too! It must be the age/stage because they used to get along so well!
I had not compared childcare to an office setting before, and I have to admit, it is hilarious to think about. If your office was like that though, I guess there would never be a dull moment. Personally, I don’t think I could handle it in an office setting, but it just seems right when you are taking care of your kids.
As a former early childhood professional, I laugh even harder at the thought of the office being like childcare. OH MY!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I hope it brightened your day!
Actually some of my co workers do a number of these things… daily! HA!