Funny But True… An Embarrassing Bathroom Tale

I am going to start off by saying this posting may be a little gross to some of you BUT I need to tell it… consider this your warning.

A little while ago I was out shopping with my 5-year-old daughter. As with most shopping trips, I had to go to the bathroom. I dragged her into the stall with me and she stood there as I went pee. As I wiped, her eyes got wide.

Darling daughter: “Wow Mommy, you have red pee!”


I look down. Yes… the toilet bowl is full of red water. Not from my urine but because “Aunt Flo” was paying her monthly visit to me.

Hearing the shuffling of feet in the stall next to me, I decide to ignore the remark. But then….

Darling daughter: “How do you get red pee? I wish I had red pee.”

What to do? Do I tell her it’s not red pee? Then what? Explain what it is? No thank you. That’s not a conversation for a public bathroom stall.

Not knowing what to do, I motion with a finger in front of my lips to be quiet.

Darling daughter: “You should wash your hands before you put them on your face.”

Completely embarrassed and certain the stall mate beside me thinks I am the most disgusting person alive, I lean in and whisper for her to be quiet.

The toilet next to me flushes.

I decide to wait for the person to wash their hands and leave. Unfortunately my darling daughter has something to say about us waiting.

Darling daughter: “What are we waiting for?”

I hear the person wash their hands and leave. Time to make our escape.

We come out of the bathroom stall just as someone else enters the bathroom.

Darling daughter (using the loudest “whispering” voice): “Can you show me how I can make red pee? Please, please, please, please?”

Impeccable timing… of course.


Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
Former early childhood professional, now a stay-at-home-mom of two girls. I write about parenting, homeschooling, my faith, and personal life experiences. I'm striving to become the deliberate mom I long to be.
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
Make this golden reed diffuser in minutes to make spring cleaning whiz by! - 2 hours ago
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom

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  1. says

    Lol…yep, kids will say the funniest things at the funniest times! Here I was thinking you’d eaten a lot of beets ;-) Maybe that’s your answer until you figure out how to have the “how our bodies change as we grow” talk! BTW-If you’re interested, I actually teach a workshop for parents/guardians on such topics…let me know if you ever want to chat :-)

  2. says

    I just ran across your blog and this post made me laugh out loud! Got to love those fantastic kid stories…they really do say the best things. At your own expense, you will have to remind your daughter of this when she is a teenager! Thanks for sharing!

  3. says

    Twitter handle:
    OMGOSH. I just about spewed tea all over my keyboard…
    Don’t you just love those moments?
    The other day my soon-to-be two year told her teacher at school “Mommy boobies!” and proceeded to try to unbutton my shirt. Something her Daddy jokingly taught her….. I thought I would die. To make it better, she then walked over to her teacher and said “Pretty boobies.” and patted the teacher’s chest…. *sigh*
    Daddy and I had a LONG talk about that one LOL
    Christina recently shared this amazing post…7 Habits that Will Sabotage Your Weight Loss EffortsMy Profile

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