Do you regularly express love to your children? We love our children. We assume our children know they are loved. Do you ever wonder though, if that message of love gets lost in the daily routines, chores, and obligations?
Life is full of distractions. Yet, as a mother, one of my greatest longings is for my children to know how truly and deeply they are loved.
7 Special Ways to Express Love
So you want to express love to your children but maybe you’re not sure what would have the most impact… Here are some ways that I like to express love to my children.
Our #children know we love them, right?! Here are 7 deliberate ways to express your love to them. Click To TweetLeave love notes for your children
I love leaving little notes of affection for my children. It delights me when my youngest runs up to me and says, “Mommy can you read this to me?” As I read the note, she snuggles in close and the moment always ends with a hug and a smile.
You can leave notes in different spots and places:
- stick a post-it note to your child’s bedroom door
- write a note on their dinner napkin
- leave a note in their school lunch bag
- put a note in their coat pocket
- attach a note to their favourite stuffed toy
Give your children hugs and cuddles.
Physical touch truly expresses affection. Of course your child may hate to be hugged, so don’t force this if hugging isn’t in their nature. However, if your child is comfortable with snuggles, make opportunities to do so.
The other day, during my youngest daughter’s afternoon quiet time, instead of working on projects, exercising, or cleaning, I reclined beside her on the couch and snuggled with her while watching her favourite cartoons. She loved it… and we didn’t move for almost two hours.
Give your kids your undivided attention.
Whenever you can, try to give your child your full attention when they’re talking to you. Stop whatever you’re doing and listen.
If you’re too busy to be “present” with them, let them know that you want to give them your undivided attention but that you have to quickly finish your task. Set a timer (tell them you’re doing so) and complete the task you were working on. When that timer goes off, seek them out and ask them to share their story/news with you.
This works for me but I try not to do it too often, as I want them to know that what they have to say is very important to me too.
Do something special with your kids.
We’ve heard it so many times… the greatest gift you can give your children is your time. Yet, it’s hard to make that happen. Try to regularly schedule quality time with your children. Read a few books, go out for ice cream, bake cupcakes together… do something just with them. If you need ideas, check out this post for 30 ideas on how to connect with your child.
Do something for your children.
I will never forget the day that I nagged (yes there’s no better word for it) my youngest daughter to clean her room. She cried and fussed and said it was too hard.
I wanted to push the issue further, I mean, I’m the parent here… I asked her to do something, she should do it, shouldn’t she?!
Yet something told me that in this instance my daughter needed tenderness and compassion, rather than be forced to do something she clearly didn’t want to do.
So while she was watching a show for her rest time, I cleaned her room. I sorted her clothes, I made her bed, I put away her toys, I cleared off her dresser, and I set up her play table with a new activity.
The look on her face when she discovered that her room was clean was worth it. She beamed. Then she wrapped her arms around my legs and thanked me.
No, I don’t do this all the time but occasionally it’s needed. Often our relationship with our children strengthens when we step away from power struggles and serve rather than command.
Acts of service is one of the five love languages. If you haven’t read the 5 Love Languages of Children yet, you really should!
Speak lovingly to your children.
It’s easy to tell our children we love them when we see them first thing in the morning and when we’re tucking them into bed. Yet, I want to encourage you to also express your love in the most difficult times. Like when your child is fighting with their sibling or arguing with you.
Look for instances that they don’t expect to hear that they are loved, and tell them that you love them!
For instance, if your child is angry and having a temper tantrum, you could say:
“I love you so much. It’s hard for me to see you so angry.”
Words have more meaning and power when they’re expressed at an unexpected time.
Be deliberate and intentional.
I find my best parenting moments are when I’m most the deliberate and intentional in my actions. I shine and show my love the most when I pause, plan, and carefully consider how I’m going to interact with my children.
My workbook, Becoming a Deliberate Mom, is now available for purchase! I find that by periodically taking the time to practice the strategies in this booklet, I feel more confident in the ways I’ve chosen to parent my children.
Click image to visit sales page.
There are many ways we can express our love to our children. I hope these tips have helped and inspired you to pour on the love today.
Psst – I would love to share a sample of my workbook with you. Simply click the download button below and you’ll get instant access to a sample of the booklet.
Want to become a more deliberate mom? Want to parent your children with confidence and intentionality? Here’s a sample of the Becoming a Deliberate Mom workbook. Begin your journey of intentional motherhood today.
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Absolutely couldn’t agree more with the ways you suggested to show love to our kids, especially hugs and kisses, as I am a pretty affectionate and have always been. So, this one never really was a stretch for me, but still am truly certain that this is just an essential for moms to indeed show their love to their own children. Thanks for sharing and hoping you have been having a great week so far!! xoxo ;)
I’m affectionate too. Except when I’m sick – lol – then I’m like, “Don’t touch me.” I could smother my girls with kisses and cuddles.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Janine.
Thank you for this list Jennifer. I’m not really good at showing my affection but my daughter Madison is and I’ve been learning a lot through her. She encourages hugs and kisses and it’s been working. The older kids would have a heart attack if I now started doing that, but I do show my love by doing things with/for them and I have to say that I need to say the words “I love you” more often. I think I’m going to start putting little notes in their backpacks so they can see it when they’re in school. You always inspire me to be a better mom than I am today. Here’s to a great week ahead!
I’m delighted you enjoyed this list Amanda. Every day I want to do better than I did the day before. It rarely pans out that way but I try. Thanks for the kind words my friend. You blessed me this morning.
Wishing you a great week as well.
I really, really like leaving notes and speak it. I’m thinking about putting notes up this evening. I do something similar with kisses. I put “kisses” on napkins and hide them around the house. Whenever she happens to stumble across one, she gets a kiss! Just a fun, out-of-the-blue reminder. Of course she gets kisses and hugs, but there’s something special about just knowing they can always be there.
The speak it is so important when we’re going through tough stuff. I need to remember this. Great list!
My girls are away at daycamp – I’m thinking I’ll have some notes for them when they get home. Such fun!
Speaking it is challenging when we’re dealing with them at their worst – or when we’re overwhelmed but it has a huge impact.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Ann.
I did all those things and did them out of pure love not trying to be intentional. It came easy because I was devoted to them and their well-being.
Good for you Linda! While I deeply love my children, some days are hard and I need to be intentional with demonstrating my love. This doesn’t mean I love them any less… it’s just the way it is.
Love this! Yes, giving our kids undivided attention, playing with them, showing them they matter. That means so much more than we realize.
I’m delighted you enjoyed this Julie. Sometimes I get so caught up in “life-stuff” that I need to step back and get intentional with my children again. I always feel better for it too because I know it impacts them greatly.
Sometimes I hear about people who had childhoods in which their parents rarely said “I love you.” It’s shocking to me because I’m not sure half a day goes by without me saying it a lot!
I love leaving Scarlet notes, and vice versa, and I can’t wait to do that for Des.
Looking him square in the eye really seems to make him happy!
Yes! I say “I love you” so much, I wonder if they’re just so used to now that they don’t “hear” the love behind it.
Notes are sooooo much fun :)
I love this list Jennifer, so many ideas I’ve never thought about doing, like leaving notes. I used to LOVE when I’d open my lunch and my mom had left me a little sticky note in my lunch box. The little things really do thrill a child and make them feel so loved. I also love how you cleaned your daughter’s room rather than getting into a power struggle.
Super thoughtful tips as always, thank you!
Notes are probably one of my favourite ways to express my love to my kids. It’s so easy to do and so much fun for them… and me!
Jennifer, I love the intentionality of this! I think I tried to do all these things with my girls when they were little, and now they are the norm in their teen years. (I mean, mostly…please don’t do a spot-check in my kitchen on your average Monday morning at 6 a.m. when no one in this house likes anyone else very much.) I especially love this: “often our relationship with our children strengthens when we step away from power struggles and serve rather than command.” I appreciate this viewpoint that every time we do something for our children they could do themselves, it does not make us bad or wimpy parents. I enjoy blessing my girls by doing things to make their busy lives easier. It’s not as if I’m doing their laundry while they watch TV! I’m doing it while they’re dancing and practicing instruments and learning advanced algebra (insert full-body shudder) and a dozen other things. Great perspective here!
I’m delighted you enjoyed this Elizabeth.
My “doing for” my children was a recent revelation and it’s created more joy and peace in our house than I would have thought. Sometimes serving means far more than anything else we could do and if my children weren’t appreciative, it would be harder for me to pull off, but they really do appreciate it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
I LOVE your ideas! (pun intended) Especially little notes and one on one time. So important!
I love that this resonated with you Kristen. Writing and leaving notes is one of my favourite things to do – so much fun!
Such easily implementable ways to express love! I really enjoy telling the boys I love them throughout the day. I’ve even been known to say it or give a hug and kiss in the midst of some difficulty. It helps all of us to reset a bit and work together again. And, I’m seeing that Monkey Boy really loves it and our relationship thrives when I spend dedicated time with him on something *he* wants to do (even when I’m really not interested – cars and trucks all day)! :)
It sounds like you do some awesome things to express your love to your boys. You’re doing cars and trucks all day and I’m doing My Little Pony – lol. It’s love. :)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Kendall.
I love this Jennifer. Such great ways we can all remind ourselves to love our kiddos. And girl, you are on FIRE with these books! I’m SO glad you are sharing your gifts with the world. <3
I’m glad you enjoyed this Christine. Our children need love… and lots of it. I enjoy finding fun and unique ways to express my love to them.
Thanks for the encouraging words… what can I say – I just love to write! :)
Giving undivided attention is so hard around here. I am trying to teach my children to wait until their sibling is done talking to start talking to me, but the 3 year old is kind of hopeless in that area. I love your speak it point. That is probably the most important time to tell them we love them.
I hear you – I sometimes struggle with just the two – I can only imagine how the attention gets split when there’s another child in the mix!
Speaking love in challenging moments really shows love (and also helps me stay grounded and calm when frustrated).
These are all wonderful ideas Jennifer. I love the idea of leaving notes for them. A loves writing notes for me and the hubs so I know she’d appreciate receiving them as well.
I’m delighted you enjoyed these tips Tiffany. Writing notes is so much fun! I love doing it (and the girls love receiving them)!
Thanks for all the parenting inspiration. I can always count on you to motivate and almost cheerlead me on through the “parenting blues” moments! I think I will try your phrase, “I love you so much. It’s hard for me to see you so angry.” My daughter (5yrs) has been so stinking emotional lately… for like the past two years lol. We will see how they changes arguments. :)
I’m delighted you enjoyed this Monica! I find by vocalizing my love when tempers are raging, it seems to de-escalate things! I would love to know how it works for you.
This is such a great article. My little one is coming up on a year, and this is going to become relevant for us super soon! I loved your story about cleaning your daughters room. Thanks for sharing!
I’m delighted you enjoyed this article Hailey. Parenting is full of challenges and exciting moments. I hope that this article will inspire and encourage you as your child grows.