The realization is grand. I can say I’m exceptional in so many areas of my life, yet for some reason when I lay my head down at night, I can’t be an exceptional mom.
Today I’m an exceptional cook.
I made a dinner my children loved, and they even asked for seconds.
Today I’m an exceptional teacher.
My daughter cried that the addition was too hard, but I brought out the counting cubes, and she mastered the skill of adding to 100.
Today I’m an exceptional friend.
My best friend called to talk about her troubles. I listened, I reflected, and I supported her need to be heard.
Today I’m an exceptional blogger.
I wrote two posts, I commented on 15 more, and I answered emails.
Today I’m an exceptional housecleaner.
I vacuumed, scrubbed, dusted, and organized. I even managed to donate unwanted clothing to my local homeless shelter.
Today I’m an exceptional student.
I completed all of my readings and finished the assignment for one unit of study. It was hard, but I put my mind to it, and I got it done.
Today I’m a decent mom.
Today I’m an okay mom.
Today I’m a just-enough mom.
The realization is grand. I can say I’m exceptional in so many areas of my life, yet for some reason when I lay my head down at night, I can’t be an exceptional mom.
Why can’t I say that today was a good day and that today I was an exceptional mom?
I lay there and wonder why I’m failing and why I can’t get this parenting gig right.
Today I’m far from exceptional.
I didn’t play a game with my girls.
I didn’t sit and colour with them.
I was going to make play dough but never got around to it.
We were going to bake cookies together, but I was too exhausted.
My girls watched more than an hour of television, and their laundry is still sitting on the floor by the washing machine.
My mind wandered some more.
Today I helped my girls negotiate the battle over a toy. I calmly listened to both sides and supported each of them as they voiced their claims to it.
Today I bandaged my daughter’s ankle and held her in my arms as she sobbed. I did this not because I thought it was what she needed but because I knew it was what she needed.
Today I sat on the floor beside my 4-year-old as she pretended to read a book. I nodded along and pretended that I understood every word she said.
Today after my girls had their baths I dried them off and kissed their pruned up hands and feet.
Today before bed, I snuggled with my girls, and I told them how much I love them.
Today I’m far from exceptional. I could do more. I could be more.
Today I’m far from exceptional because the bar by which I measure myself keeps raising.
I’m not an exceptional mom. I never will be. Every day I move, I progress, and I strive because every day I long to be better than the day before. I learn, I grow, and I expand with every conflict, issue, and opportunity.
No, I’m not an exceptional mom, but I’m the best mom I can be… today.
I'm not an exceptional mom, but I'm the best mom I can be today. Click To Tweet
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I always feel like we’re more exceptional than we even know. I love that my kids can remember so much good, like when I rallied and took them to lunch, even though I fully remember the two hours before that when I let them watch TV! I’ll never be an exceptional mom, I think, because I’ll never believe I am.
I like being as best as I can be, though.
XOXO!
You’re so right! Our kids usually only remember the good stuff – although I’m certain that will change when they’re teenagers! lol
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
You pretty much summed up the way I feel here daily. I think we are all just doing the best we can on any given day to be honest. Trust me I am truly far from exceptional or perfect by any means, but I do very much love my kids and family more than words can express. So, like you I keep trying daily. Beautifully written and wishing you a great week ahead now xoxo ;)
Aww, I’m glad you enjoyed this my friend. This mom gig is tough, but we’re doing all we can.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
Hi Jennifer, I bet to your children you are an exceptional Mum. As parents we are often too harsh on ourselves, always believing that we can do better or feeling that somehow we have failed. But that’s our main failing; doubting ourselves.
You are a brilliant role model for your girls! You are there when they need you, you teach them and you nurture them. They are also learning that people need to do things for themselves, like your blogging, bible reading and studies, which is an important life lesson.
As parents we never will stop learning and with everything that parenthood throws at us, we will never stop feeling like maybe we could have done things a little differently or a little better. But the most important thing of all is our children; what they learn, how they feel, how they see the world around them and what sort of adults they grow into and to do that we have to be exceptional human beings.
xx
You always leave such thoughtful comments Debbie.
I certainly hope they feel I’m exceptional. I know I judge myself harder than anyone else would. I’m learning still….
Yes! You are the best mom for your children! So thankful for God’s grace on the tough days and on every day!
Thank you friend. I’m so thankful for the Lord’s grace!
Jennifer, you are exactly the mom you were meant to be to your girls. We all have moments of doubt about our parenting, and we all have moments where we know we could have done more. But tomorrow is a new day. We are always harder on ourselves than our children are. You are a wonderful mommy!
xoxo
I doubt myself all the time Tiffany. Part of it is because I’m so deliberate and reflective – I torment myself over situations – it’s not good.
I’m learning… I guess that’s what’s important. Hopefully I can learn to give myself some grace and say with certainty that I’ll never perfect this mommyhood gig.
I said this to my husband last week: “I love my family, and I love my life, but man. Somedays everything is just too much.” Every day I try my best. Somedays I fall short, and other days I excel. I just depends on the day :)
YES! Some days just suck the life out of me and I get overwhelmed thinking that the next day could quite possibly be an encore performance! lol
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this my friend. I hope all is well with you.
xoxo
It’s hard to call ourselves exceptional moms because we’re all too aware of our many flaws. It’s amazing to me that on my worst days, I’ll get a text from one of my kids saying they love me or I’m the best mom in the world. I always wonder who they’re talking about! It’s comforting to know that they remember the good and forget the bad! :)
You’re so right! The negative always seems to stand out more to us than the positive. Thankfully our children show us some grace (for the most part).
You spoke right into my heart…. The guilt never goes away. And sooner or later we hopefully realize that behind every great kid is a mom who thinks she’s messing up. Keep going girl!
The mommy guilt is a tough deal. I always want to be more – do more but hopefully my kids think I’m the exceptional mom I want to be.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Paula.
Jennifer, what you did was what I will still call exceptional. I think we undervalue ourselves but if we asked our kids, we’re the best mom in the whole wide world. Well at least that’s what Madison tells me right now. You’re an amazing person and being exceptional is all you. Here’s to a fantastic week!
I can only hope they think I’m exceptional. I’ll ask them when they’re in their twenties. lol
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
Jennifer, it seems you and I are in the same boat: no exceptional mom here. As far as trying goes, we’re top notch! Best of all, we’re thankful for grace and the opportunity for another tomorrow. Blessings to you, my friend!
I’m so thankful for the Lord’s grace. I can carry on and try again tomorrow.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this my friend.
I think we are hardest on ourselves when it comes to parenting because it is a job that means so much to us. We want to get it perfectly right all the time, but we never do – none of us do. I feel much the same way as you – I do the best I can and some days are better than others, but there is always room for improvement because the kids deserve nothing but the best always.
I think you said that perfectly my friend. We want to be so much because it means so much to us.
Thank you for sharing such thoughtful insights Lisa.
Jennifer, you’re telling it like it is here. As I read down the exceptional cook, blogger, etc., I hoped these were different days! :-) Otherwise you’re swimming laps around me! I like the concept of getting caught up on one thing one day, and the next day having a different focus. Not like changing focus each and every day, but realizing we can’t do everything every day and the last thing we need is more guilt Thanks for this!
lol Betsy – they were on different days – although I do have some days that I feel like I knock things out of the park with my productivity.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this… and for the encouraging comment.
PS – I visited and commented on your blog and the comment disappeared – maybe it went to spam? Just thought I would let you know.
Lovely post Jennifer! It’s like you wrote about last week, sometimes the mundane is exceptional. Our children and we don’t appreciate this, but it is important. I think as we age we can see that, but in the moment and sometimes with youth we are so hard on ourselves. Hoping to be less hard as I grow up and learn to give myself a little more grace :)
Thanks friend. I was just contemplating that I’ll probably be less tough on myself as I grow older – one of the benefits of aging ;)
Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful response Jen.
Love this! We’re not perfect all the time, but we as long as are great at making our child(ren) thrive, that’s all that really matters.
I’m delighted you could identify – your insight of being “great at making our children thrive” resonated with me. You are so right.
Jennifer! The last line made me tear up. Ugh, there are so many days where I feel FAR from exceptional but, really, I was the best mom I could be that day. What an encouragement : ). I love your writing.
I need to take this post and print it out. It’s really powerful to just accept, be positive and move on. For as much as an optimist as I am, I’m still very hard on myself. I commend myself for being a perfectionist because I’ve accomplished a lot. However, I also push myself to do more, do more and do more…and often get frustrated with myself when I can’t do it all in a certain timeframe. So, this post really hit home. Thank you. Happy Holidays. xoxo
How did I miss these lovely words of your Caryn?!
Yes, I’m an optimist perfectionist… it’s challenging and frustration comes easy when we lean that way.
So glad you enjoyed this.
Wow…I love this, Jennifer (I wonder why I am reading it after two months though…lol).
You may not be an exceptional mom…but you really are, and your kids got themselves the best. Wish I can accomplish half of what I read up there, daily…but then, I’m a work in progress like every mom out there.
Hugs,
Thank you for the kind words Abiola. No, I don’t do all those things daily — but I am hard on myself when it comes to parenting.
Yes, we are a work in progress… a beautiful work in progress!