Do you have times when your husband is out of town and you’re alone with the kids? Do you get overwhelmed by all that needs to be done? A few hours after he’s gone, do you wonder how you’ll ever survive?
I’m here to tell you that being on your own can be doable… even enjoyable!
With my husband’s new job he’s out of town for a few nights twice month. At first I thought I was going to go crazy! How single moms and military wives do this all the time is beyond me… kudos to you ladies!
After doing this routine for six months, I feel I have a grasp on what to do during these periods that my husband is away. Here are 10 tips to keep sane while your husband is away.
Check out these 10 Sanity Savers While The Husband is Away #parenting #tips Click To Tweet
Plan your meals
I always plan my meals but when my husband is away, I try to plan really simple, easy to prepare suppers. If you have time, make a few “freezer meals” ahead of time. Making supper while you’re solo parenting can be overwhelming, so make it as easy as possible for yourself.
Do the grocery shopping before he leaves
Stock your fridge and cupboards as much as possible prior to your husband’s departure. Make sure you even have a supply of those necessities that you should require if someone gets sick (i.e. ginger ale, children’s fever medication, sports drinks, etc.). Running errands with children is challenging enough as is, you’ll want to keep such outings to a minimum.
Get out of the house
This is especially important if you’re a stay-at-home mom. You don’t want to be cooped up all day, every day, and every night with your children. Take them to your community park, visit your local library, or take them out for ice cream. The change of scenery will do all of you good.
Make some plans
Prior to my husband’s business trips, I try to plan some special activities for my girls. As I mentioned previously, it’s important to get out of the house. It’s always nice for you and your children to look forward to a play date with friends, a trip to the zoo, a movie night, or a sleepover at a grandparent’s house.
Planning craft activities is also a good idea. If the weather isn’t cooperative, you’ll be thankful you had the foresight to gather some supplies for a few art activities!
Get help
Make a list of who you can call on for help. Even if it’s having Grandma watch the kids while you go out for coffee and pick up some groceries… you need a break! Let these individuals know ahead of time that you will be on your own and that you may call on them if you need assistance.
Enlist the help of older siblings
Pull out your loose change and pay them for their efforts if you have to! Older children can help with preparing dinner, cleaning, and can help occupy younger children. Prepare them for the prospect that you will be relying on them for help and put them to work!
Have some special toys in reserve
I know I’ve shared before how I have bins of toys for desperate occasions. These toys definitely come into the play rotation when my husband is out of town.
Drop the cleaning obsession
Even if you absolutely LOVE a clean house, this is not the time to obsess over it being spotless. Let go of some of your regular chores and conserve the energy for dealing with your children.
Take care of yourself
It may feel like there’s no time to take care of yourself but this is critical. When the children are sleeping, do some Yoga, take a hot bath, sip some tea, and/or read a book. If you need some self-care ideas, you might want to check out the suggestions on this post, How to Make Time for Yourself (Even When it Feels Like You Have No Time).
Regardless, do something that makes you feel happy.
Do what you love to do
Make a list of things you want to do while your hubby is away. Is there a romantic comedy that he refuses to watch? Pop some corn and watch it without him! Dedicate time to a craft. Do some gardening. Look at this time as a blessing and when the children are not underfoot, do what you love to do.
You don’t have to dread the time that your husband is away. With some intentional planning (and a little bit of grace), your time alone with the kids can be enjoyable. You may even come to look forward to it!
SHARE WITH OTHERS
My husband always travels over spring break for work, so I’m home with the kids for 9-10 days. I ALWAYS treat myself to a fabulous chick flick and enjoy Every. Single. Minute. of it all by myself after the kids have gone to bed.
I still remember the day when my husband brought home a large roll of bubble wrap that he had needed to mail packages. He put the leftover roll in our basement and told me to pull it out in an emergency. “Just let the kids stomp away on a day when you’re entirely overwhelmed.” I still haven’t pulled it out, but I love the thought behind it. Keeping “emergency toys” is smart!
I watched 2 chick flicks the last time he was gone! Complete indulgence on my part… but well worth it.
I love the bubble wrap idea. FABULOUS!
Great list! My hubby frequently travels for work. He’s been doing it for years and I’ve gotten use to it, but it is never easy. You definitely have to ask for help from time to time – last a few weeks ago when he was gone and each of my three girls had to be somewhere different at the exact same time! I often use it as time to catch up with friends – one in particular who I can talk to for hours on the phone once the kids are asleep. My only other advice would be to cut yourself some slack. Just yesterday afternoon, all my kids were lounging in front to the TV and I felt guilty. But I knew the dinner/bathtime/bedtime chaos would be happening all too soon, so I let it go and let them veg out a little longer.
Ooooh, great additional tip Lisa! Yes, we need to cut ourselves some slack. My technology rules do get a little bit looser when the hubby is away. Sometimes a DVD can give Mommy a well needed rest.
Thanks for sharing.
I really think the getting out of the house one is key. Finding a reason to actual get ready for the day haha. My husband words long hours so there are times when it feels like he’s been out of town for months since I do all the putting to bed stuff by myself. So another thing I would add is that if you feel like you’re going crazy and need to hide in your room for a minute and cry, or pound the pillow, or run in place for thirty minutes, that’s cool too.
Oh yes… permission to go behind closed doors and freak out/let loose is essential! Thanks for sharing such a great reminder!
Oh yes! These are all great ones! My husband doesn’t travel a ton but I definitely find when he does these are the type of tips that work for me!
Thanks Michelle. It’s always good to have a game plan in place. Thanks for stopping by!
These are great tips. My husband works out of town several days each week. I follow many of your suggestions, like cleaning. We clean the day he gets home and slack off when he’s not here. :)
Cleaning is a biggie! I realized that after a few trips… cleaning while he’s gone is frustrating and almost pointless. Have a lovely day Nicky!
It helps me to read your post, as my husband just flew tonight for work.
I am bored.. :(
I hope these tips help you Z! Hang in there… and try not to get too hung up on being bored (your boys just may make you pay for making that comment *wink*).
Wishing you a lovely day my friend.
Hi Jennifer! My husband used to travel a lot with one of his jobs, so I know what you mean. I think I would stress less about dinners, because the kids would be happy with pasta 24/7 anyway. Your idea of doing something for yourself is so key! Being the constant discipline and leader is tiring.
Blessings to you my friend,
Ceil
You’re right Ceil, it’s exhausting to be the one “on” 24/7. I find taking care of myself to be a challenge but I’m intentional about it while the hubby is away.
Blessings to you as well.
xoxo
After staying home with Dylan this week for spring break, I gotta give kudos to moms like you! Not only are you a stay at home mom, but you homeschool! Your breaks are seldom and I really really really don’t know how you do it. And the husband away on business, oh geeze- that’s a level up. I hope you get a break when he returns
It’s tough but I try to make the most of it. For instance when he was away for three days this past week, I watched TWO chick flicks! TWO! They both kind of sucked but that’s okay, I got to indulge.
I have so many more older ones now than younger ones, and my husband never has to be out of town for work, but when all we had were small ones, he did! It was certainly a challenge, but your first tip was the one I always put into action. Meals were much simpler and we kept a looser schedule. We also tried to do something that was different from our normal routine and that gave the boys something special to look forward to.
They grow up so quickly! It was like a walk through the past reading your post. :)
Conscientious menu planning is essential! It’s hard when the hubby is out of town, but I try to make the best of it.
Wishing you a blessed weekend.
Looks like a great list!
Thanks Caroline. I actually try to make the most of the time that he’s away. I love my “chick flicks”… so that’s always a treat.
Wishing you a blessed Easter.
This is a great list! As much as I hate my hubby going out of town as much as he does, I actually get a lot done while he’s gone.
Have a lovely Easter weekend!
xoxo
I’m the opposite. I get barely anything done (I go into survival mode)… but that’s okay, we have lots of fun and I get to watch a few chick flicks.
Wishing you a lovely Easter weekend as well. May your spirit be built up and refreshed. *HUGS*
xoxo
Great ideas! My husband is in the Air Force so he gets to go on deployments a lot.
Thanks! That must be rough. We only have 4-5 days a month without him but even that feels like a lot. I hope some of these tips help you too… although you probably have your own pattern and ideas that work. Wishing you well.
Great list. My husband and I have been living separately for 3 years due to an immigration ruling, so I know these tips well- especially meal planning and getting out of the house. Great list for newbies dealing with being alone.
Hi Andrea. That most be tough to be doing so much time apart. It’s a challenge but I find with every absence it gets a little easier because I learn something new. Meal planning is probably my biggest sanity saver… that’s for sure.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
My Dad traveled about 3 months out of every year when I was growing up. I have 6 siblings, and we were homeschooled, so my Mom definitely got very efficient at teaching us how to be responsible and have the older ones take care of the younger ones. I have seen moms try to do absolutely everything for their kids, but honestly, I’m very grateful as an adult that Mom involved us in taking care of the house and each other and helping her out when we were kids because it meant that by the time I moved out for college when I was 17–I knew how to cook and clean and do laundry and maintain a home. So many of my friends of my own age don’t–so it’s a really great gift to learn those skills at a young age!
It sounds like your mom really fostered a self-sufficient independence in you! I think that’s great and you’re right, it is a gift to learn those skills at a young age.
Thanks for stopping by and wishing you a lovely weekend.
These are great tips, hubby is going away next week, it is easier now that she is older that it for sure.
Hi Tara! Yes, I think age makes a lot of things easier. Although there’s always a part of me that wishes they could stay little.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
THanks for sharing these wonderful ideas. I am so glad that my husband doesn’t have to travel a lot for work. I see the moms whose husbands travel a lot and wonder how in the world they do it. When he is gone doing something for yourself is one that is really hard for me to remember to do. I feel so overwhelmed with just surviving when the husband is away that I don’t think much about myself or how I look or feel. I’m in the mood for a really good chick flick, next time he travels :) Emily @ justatouchofcrazy.com
I’m so delighted you liked these tips. A chick flick is my “reward” while he’s gone. It makes his absence a lot more bearable.
I never would have appreciated this prior to this past year, but now I appreciate and totally agree with this list! Awesome suggestions and ones well worth implementing!
Thanks Crystal! I hope some of these tips help you out too! It sounds like you’re encountering more solo parenting in the past year. Has anything in particular worked well for you and your family? It’s definitely an adjustment isn’t it? Wishing you well.
I love these for when he’s home too! :) But I agree- when my husband travels, which can be months at a time, it’s best to just embrace our basic routine and be together!
Months at a time?! Oh my… kudos to you my friend! You’re right, these tips definitely make things “easier” when the spouse is home too (especially in the first few days).
My husband is never away but I sure do think it would be terribly hard to be doing the bedtime routine alone night after night! It sounds like you’ve got a really good system figured out!
Those “solo parenting” times can be a struggle. Bedtime routines are the most challenging… I think in part because you’re just so exhausted and in need of rest yourself!
Thanks for stopping by Sanz!
This is great! My husband is gone ALOT during basketball season so we are always looking for place to go and people to see!
I’m so glad you found this useful Kristen! I hope it helps you during those basketball seasons!
Thanks for stopping by.
Jennifer – I loved loved loved this post. My husband has to travel out of state at least twice a month and although my son is now three, it is almost as stressful as it was when he was much smaller. I don’t know how single moms and military wives do it either!!
I’m so glad you enjoyed this Marnie! I hope it helps you when your husband is out of town. Some fresh ideas and a plan is always a good starting point.
Thank you for writing this. I too often kick myself when I’m down wondering ” Why is this so hard?” My husband is military, but right now he’s more like your husband, gone about a week out of a month. Still! When he’s gone, as he has been the past 2 days, I’m going to bed with toys everywhere and bathrooms that could use freshening up, but oh well. We played games, we went outside, they hardly watched t.v. at all, so this was a smashing success. These are excellent tips. Pinned.
I’m delighted you found this helpful and encouraging April! Solo parenting while the spouse is away is so very hard – we need all the help and tips we can get. *wink*
Thank you for pinning.